Never Alone

ultimato

2006-12-06T08:27:00.000+08:00

Finally, my aunt is engaged to her long-time boyfriend on 3 December 2006. I'm so darn happy for her and she choose a great guy. =) Will be wierd though calling him uncle.

For the last 4 days or so, all I have been doing is glueing myself on my couch and playing my XBox. I finally found the game that I wanted after my delivery was cancelled. I actually went all around Singapore just to find that freaking game and it was well worth it since it's freaking rare. Thus, in order to compensate my tiring search for it, I've been getting my worth on it. Haha. It's fucking awesome la.

I might be rushing to Wheelock for a while later to get some stuff before rushing back again. Rush rush rush.

Not one single holiday homework have been done and I pledge myself to doing them next week. I seriously have to finish them up before studying. Yeaps. And after that OGL camp! Ok. It's not really a camp since there's no overnight stay at all. Ugh. But still, it'll be loads of fun. I hope.

Wouldn't it be seriously fun to have superpowers? Come on. Each and every one of us have hoped for that slight possibility of flying or being invisible. Just wish that sometimes those things do happen. It'll be fun. Imagine if all of us had powers and instead of making cartoons about super heroes, we'll be making cartoons about "abnormal powerless people". Haha. That'll be the day.

call me dammit

2006-11-28T19:56:00.000+08:00

I have been practically hearing out for the sound of either my handphone or the home phone adn rush to them whenever they rang. Unfortunately, all the calls were from my family and a call from Bryan. Damn. Can the people from GameShop call me already? I want my bloody XBox games delivered! Ok. Maybe I'm being a lil bit unreasonable since I ordered them last night but still they should have checked it right? Argh.

I was blog-hopping and I cannot believe the pictures I saw of Temasek's Graduation Night for this year. What's with the wig? Besides looking horribly drag, he looks like Donatella Versace, which is not a compliment at all. Disgusting really.

Tomorrow's prom and I just can't wait for it to be over and done with. I just hope it'll be a roaring success and the J2s don't complain much. DXO tomorrow? I don't think so. Despite it going to be full of girls in prom attire, it's expensive. And furthermore, it's gonna be full of TPJCians. I'd rather wait by the phone for my freaking important phone call.

OCIP people came back losing lots of weight and how I wish it was me that went there losing 14kg. Get well soon, Max! =)

pgl

2006-11-27T23:38:00.000+08:00

God. Puteri Gunung Ledang: The Musical was such an awesome production. And to think that it's an Asian production. Definitely world-class and worth all the money that you spend on the tickets. I could definitely see a tinge of Cats and some old-time broadway in the musical. Awesome awesome awesome right from the start to the end. Stephen Rahman-Hughes has such an amazing voice and it's his diction was just perfect even though he doesn't speak a word of Malay. Sadly, the soundtrack was out of stock. Damn.

Apparently, a friend of my mother who is around her early 30s is interested in me and wants me to herself. =) Hehe. What more can I say? First it was Messa's mother and then Hana's. Haha. I'm so irresistible.

Now my hair's officially Jean Grey-ed. It's actually not bad but it's not the shade that I wanted. It's different from last year's graduation night. Oh well, I'll live with it for a few days before I get it cut. I hate long hair. Makes me itch damn bad. And not to mention Singapore's climate.

cooking with islanders.. yummy. =)

2006-11-25T00:19:00.000+08:00

Survivor: Cook Islands is just awesome. It's been a while since I last watched a season and Cook Islands has definitely rekindled the flame. =) Isn't it obvious why? Haha. Even though currently they suck at immunity challenges, I will be by Raro's side each and every step of the way. Oh and Flicka has seriously unruly hairy pits that are just screaming to be shaved. God. Imagine how she smells with all those spurts of hairs standing erect, not moving with the wind. Eww.

I've never really asked this before but why do they guys have to be shirtless like practically the whole time? Is it too warm? Well, it doesn't look like it at all. And if you think the answer is that they are afraid of running out of clothes, there's water surrounding them 24/7 for washing. But hell, I have no complains is they have megabods but if someone like Jonathan bares it all, it's gonna be an R21-rating for sure. Come to think of it, no wonder he's rarely shirtless; they edit him out. =)

I finally came round to counting my Raya money; 500 bux in total. Yay! If I spend on 4 games, I'll be left with enough money for iPod accessories, clothes and maybe save the rest. I cannot imagine myself working. I think I'll spend everything within 2 weeks.

As always, I'm back on playing Neopets. Haha. It's addictive. Especially during holidays. And so is the XBox. Played for three and a half hours with my uncle today and boy was it ever fun. From stupid immitations of Jean Grey to racing across the screen. Awesome I tell you.

Syidah, Shikin and Nisah are enjoying themselves (I think) at OGL camp. Reza and Nana are schooling. There's not really a day for us other than weekends. Next Saturday?

happy happy happy =)

2006-11-24T01:04:00.000+08:00

HAPPY FEET WAS AWESOME! The music, the really life-like animations and the whole dance versus singing routine was just simply spectacular. Haha. I think if Reza and I were to fight, he'll end up dancing circles around me while I try to burst his ear drums with a whistle note. Haha!

Anyways, the story itself is just moving. Something I can totally relate to. There's always someone out there who will accept you for who you truly are even when it seems as though no one ever cares. Thank God I found my Adelie penguins.

Oh and they had ORCAS! Omg. That was really a huge surprise. And they look so real, I felt like grabbing and touching them. Ooh. I get so excited over orcas. Awesome creatures. And Nicole Kidman's voice was soooo seductive and so Marilyn Monroe.

Ok. I still can't get the image of me and Reza fighting using song and dance. Haha. We should really try it someday.

kaki gembira

2006-11-23T19:13:00.001+08:00

I find it quite irritating that they keep playing Hady's video in between shows. It's becoming too frquent already. Even Taufik's was not as frequent as this. Either they are seriously trying their very best to promote his new album or I'm watching too much television.

Watching Happy Feet in an hour with the family. Can't wait! I'll gladly watch it again if anyone's interested in asking me. *hint hint*

I had no idea that Solange Knowles has a son. And he's freaking adorable. I bet to you Solange will never be as famous as Beyonce for obvious reasons. Maybe they'll keep referring her as "Beyonce's baby sister".

PSLE results were released this afternoon, if I'm not wrong. It seems like it was just a few months ago that I was eagerly anticipating my results. I was not even worried or scared at all. My parents were. Like seriously, my mother was like shaking and her hands were just shivering. If I was in EM2, I would have been the highest scoring EM2 student in the school. Sad.

But I feel I made the right choice to be in Temasek. I know I did. Those 4 years were the best times of my life; wonderful friends, great environment and awesome teachers. Where else can you get delicious mushroom and chicken shredded noodles? Most of the time I don't regret not applying to VS. Most of the time. Haha. =)

roach attack

2006-11-22T23:52:00.000+08:00

I cannot believe that I spent 3 hours inside the council room waiting for the delivery of 700 paperbags for prom to arrive. Throughout the whole time waiting for the delivery, Khalis ran in and out showing me her skin in all it's black glory, ODAC people wanting to borrow the radio and it started to rain just when the delivery people came. How fun.

Oh and not to forget that I CLEANED THE COUNCIL ROOM. Yes. That's off my chest. I came in and to my horror there were at least 5 dead roaches lying around the floor together with used tissues, plastics and whatnots. In addition to that, bottles still full of drinks were like everywhere. Thus, me being the excessively good-natured person that I am (besides being extremely bored out of my wits) cleaned up the room, rearranged the furniture and stuff and sweeped cleaned all those bugs inhabiting the room. Seriously, you'd think pigs were running amok in there.

Thankfully, my iPod was juiced up last night or else I would have ended up moping the floor. Obssesive compulsive? Hmm. Oh and thanx to Deb for the magazine which I was forced upon yesterday. Really helped to pass the time.

God, I'm unfit. I cannot and refuse to be tortured by Nordin again next year. Thus, physical training has started and I hope it helps. Otherwise, Nordin's face will soon turn into a vision of beauty that I have to look at every single day. Eek.

Syidah! Step Up! =)

Nana will take the world by storm with her instant char kway teow. Yeaps. Even though it's been done, hers will be specially made with tender loving care and after constant research through surveying people. Haha. I seriously thought she was right behind me when she called. Thus, making me turn back suddenly and made this minah stare at me with those heavily eyelined eyes and that super tight hairdo.

so much to do

2006-11-21T21:27:00.000+08:00

The layout is quite bare and lifeless for now. Bear with it please. My muse sort of went wild for a while. I'm sure not many know who's featured in the layout this time. She's a character from Heroes which is a television series that is still ongoing in the States about people around the world with special abilities. Claire Bennett has the ability to heal any wounds instantly, making her invincible. Hence the title.

Everyone should seriously watch the show. It's really a great show with an intriguing plot. I swear television series are getting more and more complex and exciting and that's exactly how it should be. I hope Singapore screens Heroes soon. Fauzy sure gets a kick out of it. Haha.

Lots of things have been happening for the past two weeks. House was packed with friends and it was just lovely. Especially since I didn't have to face the Chinese half of the family. Thanx to all those great friends of mine for conquering the television and couches. =) The look on their faces were priceless.

I am on an XBox games frenzy. I'm seriously thinking of using all my Raya money on Xbox games. The games that I badly want are:

Marvel: Ultimate Alliance
Marvel Nemesis: Rise of The Imperfects
X-Men Legends
Soul Calibur II
X-Men: The Official Game
Baldur's Gate
Psi-Ops
X-Men: Next Dimension

God I'm such a geek. At this rate, I'm never going to study. And I badly need to. There's a whole lot to do and I haven't started on a single shit. There's 24 newspaper articles, some GP homework, Chemistry self-study on top of council work. It's gonna be such a fruitful holiday, I tell you.

Anyway, this morning I dragged Deb all the way to Concourse at 8 in the morning even though none of the shops are open. And it's not my fault ok. It's all Mr Yazid's fault. Haha. So anyway, Deb wanted breakfast so we walked all the way to Bugis (which took about 5 mins) to find McDonalds. Unfortunately, they were not open. So we headed off to LJ which was just across the road. But apparently, Ms Deborah Lee Jia Ying is such a picky individual that she did not want to eat fast food breakfast. Thus, we went to 7-Eleven and she got herself some choc biscuits and a Malaysian mag. Eeek.

And to think she would be happy enough to walk the 5 mins back to Concourse. Nope. We took a taxi! Yeaps. 5 bux for a 5 mins walk. The cab driver cheated us off too. So yeah. I found out today that Deb is seriously retarded and demented and should never be let out of the house. =)

I can't wait for the end of Raya so that I can count my money. There's nothing else that comes close to the joy and pleasure of counting money at the end of it all. Ok. Maybe other than sex.

I have watched Step Up twice and I don't regret it one single bit. So I don't mind watching it the third time as well. Shikin! Step Up! Haha. And Reza too! =)

ladeeda

2006-11-09T20:25:00.000+08:00

It's been such a fugly day but let's not dwell on it, shall we? PW's over and done with and it's such a huge relief. Finally, it's all council work from now on. Rolly Polly's taking over and I dread that even more than I dread PW. Seriously, I don't think he'll know what he'll be doing. Thank God it'll only be for a few months. =)

I seriously have to thank Qazim for accompanying me to retrieve those vouchers from an out-of-reach place in Bishan. In the process, we got wet from that huge rainstorm which was not my fault at all; someone suggested to just run for it instead of waiting for the rain to settle down. Haha. But it was fun. And I'm very very sorry once again. Met Sahi and she's just cool and fun. Uncontrollably funny too. Haha. And she attempted to pluck the hairs from my knuckles.

I just can't wait for Orientation. Can we just skip Prom and concentrate on Orientation please? =)

Apparentl, as expected, there are no discounts for Il Divo tix. Sad. I guess I just have to figure out a way to persuade my parents for money and Nana and Faridah to accompany me. I do hope it's worth all the money. Hehe.

I can't wait for tomorrow! I just want to spend time with Shahidah, Farha, Fatin and Ilyana. Those people have been missed for far too long (Raya outing does not count). A whole day dedicated to them. They should so be honoured. =)

untitled

2006-11-02T13:44:00.000+08:00

Watch the video above and be amazed at her vocal abilities. Omg. And she's only bloody 17. Sheesh. Some people have all the luck. Her name's Gia Farrell by the way and she's featured in the upcoming Happy Feet soundtrack. Can't wait for her album. Listen closely and you can hear bits of Christina Aguilera and obviously that whistle register is reminiscent of Mariah Carey before she was corrupted by fame and fortune. Haha.

I seriously have no idea whether I should go on the 4th. It's just too close to Madrasah exams, which are gonna kill me anyway. But still. I'll see how it goes.

IL DIVO IS COMING TO SINGAPORE! Omg. I'm super excited. But tix are damn expensive as expected. Nana! Go save some money! The cheapest tix are the worst seats in the house and I hope he gets back to me fast for discounts. Just hope no one in Singapore is interested in Il Divo other than me. Haha. I wonder if Celine Dion is dropping by too. Hmm.

It seems like the OGLs are not as matured and civilised as they ought to be. They can't even shut up for 5 mins to listen to instructions. I just hope it gets better. Cause it depends on them to make Orientation a roaring success.

dued pics =)

2006-11-02T13:33:00.000+08:00

happy happy happy

2006-10-28T00:43:00.000+08:00

I highly recommend The Prestige to everyone who's anyone. Seriously, that movie is damn engaging and just surprises at every corner; just how a movie on magicians is supposed to be. I think without talented leads, it would have failed but fortunately actors were awesome. A movie worth all 8 dollars that I paid for watching it.

I hope Florence was surprised if not had a good time the very least. Royals' blueberry cheesecake is the bomb. Now I know where to get awesome to-die-for cheesecakes. Smooth, milky and silky. Yummy. Ok. I digress. Anyway, she's still the same as ever albeit stressed? Haha. All of us are. She's doing well in TJ and I'm so happy for her. =)

I will never ever forget Steph's awkwardly hilarious incident while visiting the optometrist. Haha. Those exact sentences will stay in my mind FOREVER. And that reaction? Priceless. Bring me along the next time you go again, yeah? Haha.

I cannot believe that I was not there during a Chris Botti concert! Argh. If only it was not right smack on the 2nd day of Raya. I would have thoroughly enjoyed the performances. Thankfully, Sting and Renee Olstead were not guest performers. I would have died if they were there and I was not.

Tiffany is officially crazy. Yeaps. She should not be let out of the asylum. Just leave her locked up in some underground basement and throw away the key. And make sure the room is filled with hissing and flying cockroaches. She enjoys them immensely. Especially if they crawl all over her skin finishing her pizza crusts. =)

The next post will all be full of photos. No pragraphs; PHOTOS.

food all over again

2006-10-25T21:57:00.000+08:00

Finally, drinkability is now 24/7. Haha. That's the only thing that I miss most during fasting. I guess if I was above 18 it'd be more of like, "I miss SEX, SEX, SEX". Yup. If I was a Mat, I guess it'll go a lil something like, "Siol ah. Dah lamer sak tak motek. Geram sial!!" Yeah. Thankfully I'm none of the above. And thankfully, I can fully enjoy Raya minus PW (which is an irritating ad irrelevant COMPULSORY subject) and council work, though I rather enjoy the latter much much more.

I never did understand what happened between us. We went from talking to joking to opening up to smsing to promising to sms me your new number to not talking at all. How wonderful. Somehow I fail to see what went wrong. I guess you're just to cool for me now. Have fun in camp. I wanted to say you look better and just have a decent conversation but that's never gonna happen now izzit?

If there's two things I hate during Raya, that'll be asking for forgiveness and Chinese relatives (it has been kinda frequent hasn't it?). The former proves to be a challenge and an emotional one at that. And me being the ultra-emotional person that I am will either end up crying or teary-eyed which is irritating after spending half an hour trying to look good. Chinese relatives? OMG. They come, they eat, they sit for hours and they make a ruckus. And please get some decent "going-out" clothes and not something I would wear at home when no outsider is around. However, keep those reds coming in. Wouldn't hurt to increase it a lil bit since you guys spend half the day lounging around like it's a K-Box.

Money obtained will solely go to the Buy Anything Fund which most probably will include XBox games, a new phone, iPod accessories, music, computer upgrades or clothes!! Wee. Haha. 200 bux for one day is not bad. =)

He just gets fascinated by huge shades.

I swear they are long-lost twins. Totally inseparable.

Ain't she the cutest lil thing ever? My niece from 3rd(?) sousin.

I just love chandeliers. And this house happened to have one.

I just had to put this in. She's so gonna kill me. Candid shots sure do her justice. Haha.

non-existant

2006-10-22T23:46:00.000+08:00

It's times like these that make me feel like I'd be happier and luckier if I wasn't born at all. Ok. Maybe in a different family at least. I swear if it's not PMS I just hope it's menopause. That will solve any future problems, won't it? What's her fucking problem? And I'm not the only one who feels this way (hatred). Thus, I'd rather go to school tomorrow than sin for the rest of the day. It won't be pretty if I stay home tomorrow. As long as I can take it and keep my mouth from vomitting hordes of insults, I'll try my best to keep my cool. Just one more day.

On a much lighter note, I'm loving how the house is turning out to be . Thanks to the brilliant interior designing skills of moi. Colours and room curtains all done with exquisite taste. Haha. I just love my curtains lah. Doubtful at first but they tied in well with the rooms. =) Oh my God, I'm a genius.

I love Bride & Prejudice. Aishwarya Rai was amazing. I love her accent! It's not purely Indian and not too westernized. Just perfect. =) Although it was albeit weird watching her speak and 'sing' in English. But refreshing nonetheless. Songs are addictive as always. There goes my mood for school tomorrow.

It was the Deepavali DIVA's birthday yesterday! Shikin will forever stay lovely, sweet, nonsensical and lovable as always. =) Till we meet.

left outside alone

2006-10-22T06:21:00.000+08:00

Sad. It's just sad.

There's just so much things left to do and I'm here. Haha. Still deliberating on whether to go to school tomorrow. It's the eve of Hari Raya and I have an Econs lecture at 3.3opm. How swell. I just wish there's no council meeting this week. Reynolds better be understanding and level-headed enough not to.

Things to do today: Continue cleaning up my room, buy a battery for the camera, try and find Raya cards, finish up PW (hopefully) and maybe get a haircut.

Chris Pine or Wenworth Miller? Take your pick. Haha. I wonder how long you'll last with Wenworth. =)

I feel so demoralised. Getting promoted was a relief but with the marks I obtained, it's just disappointing. And the papers are not even A-Level standard. I think I would have been retained if I were in MJC with those grades. Seriously need to catch up on work during the 'holidays'. But I want to meet up with my lovelies too! =)

O-V-E-R =)

2006-10-07T23:33:00.000+08:00

Oh the joy of being study-free. No more Organic Chemistry, Cellular Biology, Market Failure and AP/GP for me. That is unless I get the "opportunity" to re-take my exams at the beginning of next year. Ugh. I hope that never does happen. I feel sort of good about the exams. I'm not saying I'll definitely pass, but I think I did ok. But then again, anything can happen. Oh screw it. It's freaking over! =)

It's during these times of irritatingly hazardous environmental conditions that make me wish that I had the power to control the weather. Seriously. I would just summon just a tiny hurricane to blow all the freaking haze back to Indonesia and maybe spare some to Malaysia. Haha. That would be the day. But seriously, it's getting worse by the hour. I've been spending my day practically looking at the PSI Index on television every hour and it has been climbing. The last time I checked, it was 142. And who's freaking fault is it? Those stupid idiotic farmers in Indonesia. Hell, I don't give a damn if they want to burn the trees, just make sure that the haze doesn't enter our air space. My clothes are smelling like smoke and my asthma has been acting up.

I find it very irritating how Apple keeps coming up with better and newer devices to replace the old at an even lower price! Stupid 80gb is only freaking 500 bux plus. Oh well, I still love my iPod. =)

Now all I wanna do is meet up with those I dearly miss and love. That is if they want to meet me.

future thoughts

2006-09-08T23:40:00.000+08:00

You know what. I don't think I'll ever get married. Like seriously. I'll probably end up being a grouch living in a one-room flat karaoke-ing all day long. Ok. Let's not get too dramatic. Maybe I'll just end up being an old and wrinkly man living off my CPF. =) Hell, it's not my dream future. But it seems like it's gonna be that way. She will never ever realise it. I'll just be sitting by my window watching her life pass by before me and I'll feel happy for her in whatever she does. Yup. That's how my life will be like; a spectator of her's. I won't complain. It's better than nothing. I guess, what we have now, I'm damn grateful.

Studying for Promos makes me feel like I'm studying for O Levels all over again; too many things left untouched, yet time is catching up to me. I just want to get promoted damn it! Being conditionally-promoted won't do it for me. Promoted will be the word. Promoted with good results. Something I can be proud off. Cause I don't want to take another damn mock exam at the beginning of the year. Quit guitar or not? Music or studies? Passion or life? How the hell am I to decide?

Ok. I seriously think I think horribly for Teachers' Day. Ok. Maybe I did a nice job. But it wasn't good enough to me. But I'm deeply grateful and honoured to be getting wuch wonderful reviews. Means a whole lot to me. Especially when they come from my bestfriends (although they may be a tad bit biased) even though they viewed it from a video (thanx Mr Yazid). Thanks to Nana for tearing up. Thanx to Shahidah for finally acknowledging that I'm growing up. Thanx to Farha being proud of me. Huge hugs and many thanks to Shikin and Syidah for being damn proud of me. =) That's all I needed.

The Devil Wears Prada is a damn wonderful show. Everyone who's career-driven should watch it. Akeelah and The Bee is a must-watch because it's inspiring, emotional and erm, there's a cute guy? Haha. Monster House is damn cute. Hilarious too. And damn cute. Haha.

I love the black shiny finish and it's silver backing. I love how it's able to play videos. I love how it's able to pause at the previous played song when I switch it off. I love the silicon casing which protects the body but sadly not the screen but I still love it. I love how it has 60GB of storage. I love how it fits snugly in my side pockets. I love how I can play games and listen to it at the same time. Oh well. I love my 60GB Black Video iPod. Eat your heart out Ms Zufriena. =p

I miss Shikin and Syidah. Thank God I was able to meet them up today. Such wonderful friends. Both studying like mad muggers trying to survive. They seriously scare me. I should seriously start revising bit by bit. Not that I have yet to start. I've been studying for the past 3 days and I still feel it's not enough. But yeah, their company today meant a whole lot to me. It's only a few weeks away before we can meet again! Actually about a month but yeah, it's a short period of time and I'm so gonna make the most of it. Photos, photos and more PHOTOS! Until then, we shall study our asses off and kick ass at promos. =)

debut!!

2006-08-30T23:51:00.000+08:00

Omg. Tomorrow's my "debut"!

I'm just praying and hoping for the best. =)

confidence

2006-08-26T21:05:00.000+08:00

I'm beginning to feel that I won't be able to do it. I'm seriously thinking of not performing. It seems like every note I hit seems to be the wrong one. And it's a freaking Christina Aguilera song! It's either I nail it and be applauded or be laughed at for trying to be as good as her. I better get my groove back on or I'll just pull out of it.

You know, it's a sad thing that people have voted you in confidence that you'll do a great job yet evidence points to the exact opposite. It's not as if I'm saying that I'm doing a great job myself, just that I feel that they have yet to prove their worth in being voted to be in that position. And I often see others doing more than them. And that says alot about what they have been doing thus far.

By the way Syidah, you gave me the wrong direction. =p

Class BBQ again? I love the idea of it. The turnout will probably be less than half or maybe even half of the class and I can't really be bothered. I just want the people that i'm close to and can just have fun with to be there right by my side. I'm not stating that I don't like the others, just that if as a class we couldn't bond within those 2 years of our lives, what makes you think we'll starts bonding now? I guess I'm not one to talk bout other bout this, since I'm guilty of segragation myself. And it's not because of race, ok. Hell, there's only 3 of us malays. =p

Next time, Mr Yazid shall offer us a ride to Bugis, saving us the agony to travel all the way there and only coming back to school at around 8pm. Next time, I should always keep myself pre-occupied with imaginary events in order not to get pulled into doing menial labour. My bad back is killing me; spurts of needle-like jolts, how refreshing.

We'll just see how rehearsals go I guess. *sigh*

euphoria at its best

2006-08-23T22:08:00.000+08:00

A standing ovation by Ms Dawn and cheers from the audience (which amounts to about 20? haha). That made my day. =) Thanx.

Now all that's left to do is prevent my legs from having constant muscle spasms and to get my hands to be free and not strangling the poor mic. And of course, practice, practice, PRACTICE!

Seeing Ms Dawn just standing and cheering just totally was the best. =)

singapore idol voters are fucking idiots

2006-08-17T21:08:00.000+08:00

Seriously, it's either Singapore Idol voters are just fucking tone deaf or they are just plain ole fucking idiots. Due to their bumbling idiocy which seems to increase week by week, Mathilda, arguably one of the best SINGERs in the competition, has left the stage.

Singapore Idol has become such a ridicule to me. I mean, come on Singaporeans, it's a singing competition, not a personality or popularity one! Just because of that, Singapore Idol is just going to lose its credibility in producing great singers. Hell to those who wish to see Singapore's music industry be a mockery. We will never progress this way. If ever Hady or Jonathan leaves, they should just forget about another season cause Singaporeans are not ready to be given voting power.

Joakim should just pray very hard that he does not get out. He cannot sing a single note properly and yet he's still in. Pray hard that your 'fans' are going to vote to the death for you, ok?

Some people just don't understand that I may take things as jokes, be sarcastic and just seem not to care bout anything in the world. Truth is, sometimes I get hurt by what they say. It might be 'funny' but sometimes things just get too far. This makes me just want to run into the comfort of my bestfriends and just cry in front of them. Being here makes me more emotionless.

I have loads of overdue pictures and I'll find a day to edit them and post them up.

Syidah, Shikin, Nisah, Nana, Reza! It's been such a long time! God, I miss them even more now.

dengdeng

2006-08-14T21:49:00.000+08:00

This is like wayy overdue. Haha. Sorry Syidah.

As tagged by Syidah:

Once you've been tagged, you have to write a blog with 6 weird facts/things/habits about yourself, saying who tagged you. In the end you need to choose the 5 people to be tagged and list their names.

1. I had a "traumatising" childhood where both my grandmother and mother would offer me a chance to smell their armpits. And I enjoyed it. And no, it was not simultaneous. They happen during two separate events.

2. I hate it when people touch or even worse, REARRANGE things in my room. Ok. Maybe I don't really care much about the touching but rearranging?! Argh. Everytime that happens, I blow my top at my maid (she's the regular culprit) and she never listens. Irritating right?

3. I used to cross dress! I swear this is true. Back when primary school was in the afternoon session, I would wake up and lock my room while trying on dresses God knows where I found them and SASHAY to the sounds of my television! Omg. I swear I had a troubled childhood.

4. I keep thinking that I have magical powers and have influenced my mother to do the same. She now attempts at levitating objects whenever she's too darn lazy to get me something.

5. I used to dig my nose like everywhere I go and keep sticking those God-forbidden clumps of mucus on any surface that I can find. So yeah, I had my "Wall of Mucus" next to my old computer. Thankfully, that phase has disappeared. Oh and I did it in private obviously. Public display of nose-digging is a taboo in Singapore ok.

6. I miss the old crowd. I miss TMS and everything that I experienced back then. In short, I miss my life before JC. =)

Yeah. That's it. Haha. I want to meet Qazim again! Today was just hilarious. Gossips and more gossips. Oh those days of nonchalance.

start of something new

2006-08-13T21:54:00.000+08:00

I never thought I'd say this but I'm in love with High School Musical. Eep. Aside from the fact that I'm quite slow on catching up on the fad, it's actually quite a nice show. Ok. Maybe minus the cheesy storyline, the acting is definitely above expectations. But the songs are the best! Haha. They're just catchy and pleasant to the ears. Although there are obvious pitching problems. But yeah, they're great as well. I love the irony of how Troy's team mates are so against him joining the musical when they themselves are dancing and singing. Haha. Can't wait for the sequel. Oh and by the way, "Get'cha Head In The Game" was not really sung by Zac Efron. It was electronically mixed with some other guy cause Zac couldn't reach the high notes since he was going through puberty.

I swear Rihanna's Unfaithful is the stupidest song ever composed but still I can't help listening to it. The song is just so comical. The way she sings some parts are just hilarious. Maybe it's the highly stupid lyrics or her voice but the whole song is just a lyrical mess. Laughable parts? Hmm. Let's see: "just hangin' with the girls", "I don't wanna be...... a murderer". Haha. Actually the whole chorus is just laughable. She should just stick to fast numbers. Or get a better songwriter? I think ever since Kelly's Because of You, everyone else is trying to move listeners with "real-life sob stories".

Tomorrow's the trial for Chemistry SPA. I hope I can do it. She's been like up my ass and I just want to shove her out. She's like a bloody thorn clawing through. Sheesh.

stupidity

2006-08-06T00:14:00.000+08:00

Argh. I'm pissed with myself. Why? Well, my family and I went to the Padang to watch the fireworks on display. Took some nice shots and even a video of the great finale. And my fucking itchy fingers found their way into my camera and accidentally deleted the video! Argh! And to think that the video was so well shot and the atmosphere at the time was just amazing; people screaming, applauding and cheering. I just hope we're going back again on Tuesday. I need to take another video. And this time, I shall restrain my fingers.

The last post was a misunderstanding on my part. Sorry. I guess emotions got the better of me. Sometimes, when something means a whole lot to me, I sort of just get carried away. But it's not enough to ruin a friendship over it obviously. =)

Haven't been updating much primarily because school is giving me everything that it can throw at me for now; loads of work and a fucking bitch of a teacher. Yeah. That bout sums it all up. It's just hard to catch up on work. But I have to no matter what. I don't want to be retained. Everything that I've worked for will just go to waste if that ever happens. And it won't. I'll make sure of it.

I personally think the GEMs programme is seriously improving the standard of service in Singapore. I see a lot of people working in the service sector, really trying their best to make an impression. It's just really a great feeling seeing people sincerely doing their best to cater to your needs. Just goes to show just how human a person can be. =)

Council politics is sort of driving me up the wall. We lack discipline. Seriously. Every single time there's a meeting, I feel like just standing up and scream at the top of my lungs at those uncivilised councillors who just don't seem to understand what it means to be quiet and listen. It happens every single time. It's particularly irritating when an idea is brought up and no one cares to listen. And I'm the freaking secretary. How the hell am I supposed to record down those precious minutes with people engaging in their own private small talk? Age is definitely not a measure of one's maturity.

I've been in this angry-angsty-pissed mode for months. And I have no idea what's the cause of it. My parents are the ones who get it bad from me. And I know what I'm doing just that I can't control it. I try my best all the time but sometimes I just can't. I just hope it's a phase. I don't want to be a freaking grouch in the near future.

thanx alot

2006-07-30T18:38:00.000+08:00

Thank you so much for not being there.

I guess words are just words, eh?

ouch! haha

2006-07-23T22:25:00.000+08:00

It's been a real long time since my last post. I've been trying my darndest best to try and pull myself together and juggle to extreme CCAs, my studies and a whole lot of other things that does not necessarily involves school. I think for once, my horoscope proved to be accurate. I'm too involved. Haha. Oh well. There's nothing I can do about it at all right now. I never will be that person who'll turn and run away from responsibilty. I brought this upon myself and I shall go through it with persistence and resilience. Haha. I'll try my best?

Alot of things have been happening during my absence from here. Most pressing and highly worthy of a freaking scream-shout-yell? I lost my money gained from getting 4As for my O-Levels. Amount? Freaking $400+! And to make matters worse, I lost it in my own house, in my own room, in my own money-saver. That money was supposed to buy me a Video iPod. But because it mysteriously vanished from the face of this earth, that iPod dream of mine is simply gone. I hope he/she who stole my money die of a terrible death of better yet, suffer before dying right in front of my eyes. =)

This might come a little too late but I'm seriously deeply grateful to Syidah for getting me a great birthday gift although she shouldn't have. Thanx for those Singapore Idol tickets, love! =) It was such euphoria being with all those lovely friends of mine. Oh and obviously thanks to Noodle and sister for providing the tickets in the first place.

I seriously try to be the best role model that I can be but sometimes I feel that it's simply useless seeing how I seem to have no effect on them. I care because I want to and because they're my friends. I've braved through their criticisms and huge doses of vulgarities that leads me to think that I should not bother at all. They don't even understand that I can't really be bothered about 'protecting' them. I do what's right and that's what I believe in. I'm responsible for my own actions so be it. I'm not going to be others' knight in shining armour cause I simply don't care. No one understands anyway.

I cannot believe that she actually went up to him and did that. Haha. We should have been there and be the background mood-spoilers right, Ain? Haha. Ouch! I can't even believe she was prom queen. Omg. Standards have simply dropped.

Sometimes I think I'm too noble for my own good. I was changing in the toilet before stepping into religious class and I saw this Nokia phone near the sinks, complete with a headset. It was definitely newer than my phone and more expensive at that. I was really tempted but decided against it. Then, when I stepped into class I was thinking about it and decided that if that phone was still there, I would just grab it. Haha. You guessed it. It was gone. Oh well. Haha. It wasn't meant to be I guess. I'm such a goody-two-shoes and I like it that way. =)

birthday

2006-07-10T15:34:00.000+08:00

I just feel so grateful whenever people actually remember my birthday. It's just odd that every time this day comes, I'd just be surprise at the number of people that actually remember to wish me. To them, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. It's definitely nice to be remembered. =)

Let's see what i received for my birthday from my family members. My youngest uncle gave me a lovely OP bag that I wore to school today. It's definitely one of my favourites this year. It just goes well with the TPJC green. My youngest aunt and her boyfriend gave me a black FCUK bag and eau de toilette which has the perfect neutral scent for a guy. I received a pair of Puma shoes from my grandparents which has to be returned since it was too small for me and also a Nike "Le Coq-type" bag. My mother's non-identical twin brother gave me a Converse Germany T-shirt together with Converse Germany shoes which had to be returned as well. This time, it was too big. Haha. I just love the shoe. It's black! And is just perfect for jeans. My other aunt and her family gave me this Billabong cap and shirt which is just perfect cause I love Billabong. Now I have a reason to wear caps.

Oh and the best present of all happens to be a decoy from my parents. As always, I have to be the one to point them in the right direction on what to get me. The decoy was just some random stuff from IKEA. Maybe I'll ask for a new phone.

And obviously, as with previous birthdays, my father's side of the family just gave me $50 each. Which means that I have garnered $200. Which is quite pathetic for 4 families. And to think that they earn more than my mother's side of the family. Reasons? Lack of time, lack of ideas, lack of nice things and etc. Oh well. At least they contributed to my Video iPod fund.

Contemplating on whether I should return to school for guitar. Most probably not. Haha. It's my birthday. I just need one day to relax before it's full guitar force for VCH concert. Thanx again to everyone who wished me today. =)

panorama

2006-07-08T00:56:00.000+08:00

It's over and I absolutely miss it a whole lot. I miss all those practices and coming to school in jeans, council shirt and my noisy OP slippers. I miss how I actually felt bonded with Guitar 1. I miss how we would sneak in some practice for other scores. I miss how I would sleep backstage while waiting to enter. I miss the beautiful esplanade dressing rooms. I miss catered food. I miss that feeling of almost wanting to cry when I actually witnessed and heard that thundering appaluse. I miss Panorama a whole lot. I want the DVD!

Now all that's left is Guitar and Band concert at Victoria Concert Hall. Am I looking forward to it? Obviously. Thnkfully, with scores this time round. And then it's gonna be the end of the road for my dear seniors. I'm gonna miss Patricia. She's been helping me so much and sometimes I feel so bad for not getting it right the first time. Thanx for being patient with me. Ah. Can't they all just get retained? Haha.

how fucked up

2006-07-03T20:16:00.000+08:00

I'm dreading my birthday more and more as the days go by. It's all going to be a whole different atmosphere. I don't have my best friends with me. I will not be entering school with greeted with a barrage of "Happy Birthday!"s and seeing all their faces. No jokes in the morning at the parade square. Hell, I just know it's going to be one of those days. To make matters worse, my parents apparently are not allowing me to celebrate with my friends on Sunday morning citing reasons that they don't trust me. What the fuck. Screw birthday.

I think she should just go to hell. She does not even have a single musical gene in her body and yet she thinks that the mess that we did during rehearsal was very well done. Seriously, she's ruining the whole concert. Not only do we have to play a slow and soothing song much faster, we are background music for stupid drama club. She should just take her huge belly and roll down into a crevice that will lead her to her impending doom.

The more I get to know her and get "close" to her, the more she irritates the hell out of me. She is one who constantly whines about every single fucking thing and making it as though she's the only one in the whole entire world, no make that universe, who has problems. It's no wonder she has no friends and is constantly hanging out with us. I think the rest are ok with her, just me. Stop whining and get a life!

Meeting Shahidah today was fun fun fun. It was just laughter and joy all the way. It's a wonder how we get along. Haha. Oh well. Here's to much more years of undying friendship. =)

All I want for my birthday is for you to be happy and forget about everything else in the world just for that one day. =) Give me that and I'll have a great birthday.

Since my birthday is screwed, I'll cheer myself up by making a list of my wants for birthday:

1. Levi's jeans

2. iPod Video 60GB

3. a laptop

4. X-Men (1,2 & 3) original DVDs

5. a guitar tuner

6. a new phone

7. anything adidas

Craze

2006-06-27T23:58:00.000+08:00

I'm in a quiz-doing craze. Don't ask me why but I suddenly have the urge to do quizzes or lists, whatever you call it. I guess it's due to relief that exams are over although I am definitely not confident of getting good grades. Hell, if I pass any of the subjects, I'll be sure to be very thankful and definitely study my ass off. What the hell. From now on, I'm going to start revising bit by bit. No more procrastinating. No more last minute cramming. Erm.. Can I start next week? I still have 32 newspaper assignments, essays, proposals and projects to do. Haha.

3 schools I went to:
1. Bedok West Primary
2. Temasek Secondary
3. Tampines Junior College

3 things in my handbag:
*I don't have a handbag

3 things I do when I'm stressed:
1. Listen to music.
2. Sing.
3. Play the guitar.

3 places I go on a daily basis:
1. Toilet
2. My room
3. The bus stop near my house

3 favourite fruits:
1. Pineapple!
2. Apple
3. Papaya

3 names I go by:
1. As
2. Asroids
3. Ass-man

3 of my favourite food:
1. Pasta
2. Ferrero Roche
3. Cheesecake!!

3 things I'm wearing right now:
1. Bossini shirt
2. Shorts from Australia
3. Pierre Cardin underwear =)

Who is in the house with me?
Parents, my brother and maid.

Who am I thinking of right now?
Jonathan! He borrowed my Atomic Structure notes and I can't find it now. Oh well. It's my fault. I can never blame him. Haha.

Who did I last talk to on the phone?
My brother.

Who did I sit with during my 5th period in class?
We didn't have class today. Common test! I was sitting in front of Wei Min and behind Fauzy.

Who was the last person I uttered "LOVE" to?
I think it was Syidah. You know, those normal messages where I'll end with a "love ya" or "see ya love"

Who do I wish I am right now?
Paris Hilton. I would so love to have people serving me without having a care in the world. And obviously being her has some monetary fringe benefits.

Who gets on my nerves most in school?
Nazim! Just because he talks too much and me, being the deaf person that I am, can't understand most of what he's saying and have to resort to just nodding and agreeing to whatever he says. Haha. Actually, that's like most people in school. It gets especially embarassing when I say something which totally is out of point in the first place. I need to get my ears checked.

Where is my phone?
Right in front of me on the computer table.

Where do I sleep?
In my room, on my wonderfully comfortable queen-sized sofa bed.

Where is the place I last took a ride to?
Home. Reached home at 9+ just now from guitar practice in school.

What was the last thing I ate?
Cheezels!

What colour shirt am I wearing?
Light blue.

What is the closest item to me that is blue?
Alot. My shirt, my underwear and my shorts. Omg. I'm so colour-coded, I'm so ashamed.

What do I like most about school?
Seeing my crazy friends and of course guitar and council!

What is my favourite colour?
Black.

What do I wear most often jeans or shorts?
Jeans. With my profusely hairy legs, I'd rather cover up than bear them all. People with similar traits should learn from me. Imagine walking and accidently rubbed your body against a man's hairy legs. Ugh.

What was the last movie I watched?
Cars! I love that movie now. Sweet story. Graphics are superb and everything was highly-detailed. Obviously I watched it with the whole family.

When did I start school?
At the age of 4. Those notorious nursery days. I was the one that peeled off all the coverings of crayons.

When did I last go to the Mall?
I can't remember! But definitely more than a week ago.

When did I last burn something?
That was like ages ago in Johor. I was burning dead leaves and stuff like that. Pure euphoria.

random lah

2006-06-25T04:10:00.000+08:00

Stripped this from Hanna's LJ. I miss her. But I miss her sister more. =p Hell, I miss everyone in school. Minus homework and anything studies-related.

1) What is the phone brand? Nokia 3220. The one with lights at the side.

2) What are the last 3 digits of your mobile number? 393

3) What does the 2nd message in your inbox say? Something which I am not at liberty to post.

4) Who's the first person who comes up under the letter M? Marianne. Whoever that is. Must have been someone from the OG I was in-charge in. Haha.

5) Who's the last person you rang? Syidah. On Friday. Haha. We were talking bout Noodle getting in.

6) Who was your last missed call from? Dad. Definitely missed purposely.

7) Who's the 2nd person who comes up under D? Daphne.

8) What does the last message in your inbox say? "Hey.. 2 yrs man.. I haf known u 2 be confident & self-assured. Funny guy too. Its sad tt its over now, but i wont 4get u nor e other guys. Wishing you a great 2006! Gd luck!" -Benny. This was like last year? Haha. Sweet of him.

9)Who comes up under J? Jack.

10) Go to your Sent Items - what does the 10th message say? "Hahakz.. At least he's no gimli.. Aragorn is hot only when shaven.." -to Florence. Haha. We were watching The Two Towers. =)

11) Who's the 4th person who comes up under S? Seng Juang. I bet it's another OG person. Haha.

12) How many messages are currently in your inbox? 15. I only keep important ones or those memorable ones that I want to hold on to.

13) What do you have as your background? Alvin's self-taken pic! I should change it but let's give him an ego boost shall we?

14) Who's the 2nd person who comes up under R? Rahmat. As in Adil. Yup. I have no idea why.

15) Who do you have on speed dial 3? Apparently I don't speed dial. Haha.

16) Who's the first person who comes up under C? Candice. A friend way back in primary school.

17) How many bars of signal do you currently have? 4. But I bet in actual fact it's like 2?

18) What do you have as your main ringtone? Sorry by Madonna. Don't ask me why. Mum seems to mistake it for Scooby Doo and insists that it is. =p

noodle in!

2006-06-23T22:05:00.000+08:00

Ok. I ripped this from Syidah. Haha. Not the answers obviously. Just the questions. I'm bored. Make that damn bored. And also because 7 happens to be my favourite number ever.

7 Random Facts about Me
-loves family and friends to death
-takes first impressions seriously
-completely not sociable to unknown people (which is something I'm working on)
-constantly gaining weight
-loves singing to the core despite being not good at it
-horror movies are love
-supremely huge Kelly Clarkson fan

7 Things That Scare Me
-death
-God
-heights
-being buried alive
-being a social misfit
-losing everyone I love
-being drugged

7 Random Music At The Moment
-Satelite by Jewel
-The Time of Our Lives by Toni Braxton and Il Divo
-Bringin' On The Heartbreak by Mariah Carey
-Buttons by Pussycat Dolls (cause they are veli hot gerrs. Haha!)
-What Hurts The Most by Rascal Flatts
-I Write Sins Not Tragedies by Panic! At The Disco
-Black Horse and The Cherry Tree by KT Tunstall

7 Things I Like The Most
-my dear lovely friends =)
-family
-council
-eye-candy watching
-MUSIC
-white chocolates
-nice cool mocha frappe

7 Things I Say The Most
-"Serious?"
-"Fuck!"
-"Oh hell."
-"Irritating sia."
-"Bitch!"
-"Oh wow."
-"Ahaha. So funny."

7 People To Do
-I have no idea. Anyone who wants to rip this of can gladly do it. Haha.

Apparently, Singapore Idol was stupid enough to have a "technical glitch" in the votes and NOODLE GOT THROUGH! However, it was at the cost of Mathilda being in the Wildcard. Ah hell. Emilee should not even be in the competition at all. I can't believe Singaporeans voted for her. My Wildcard winners would definitely be Mathilda, Gayle and Jay. The rest just don't deserve it. =)

It's All You

2006-06-21T19:51:00.000+08:00

It's All You - Me

Sometimes

Without you God I feel so blue

Confused

Depressed it's all because of you

They say

My world's revolving around you

And they're right...

So you know what I say?

CHORUS

You're all I need

To make dreams come true

They don't know

What I see in you

I don't care

What they say anymore

Cause when I'm with you

I'm never someone else

When you're around

Fantasies relight

You make me feel

Like cupid's by my side

You know the things

That make me so alive

And you're good...

So you know what I say?

CHORUS

I've never known

Love until you

You just make

Everyone else fade away

CHORUS

Another song from me. I swear I'm already starting to forget how the previous song goes and I bet I'll forget this one in a dew days. Haha. I need to start recording. This one has definitely more of a rock edge. Which in my opinion is sort of cool. Haha. I never would've thought something rock would come out of me.

So anyway, I'm back playing NEOPETS! Omg. I know. I'm seriously mundanely bored out of my wits. Everytime I'm walking around the house, I feel so nauseous and stressed up for seeing the same thing day by day. Books are still left unopened and notes unread. How fun. =)

why

2006-06-20T19:54:00.000+08:00

Over the years ever since I began to fantasise myself as a marine biologist, many people have asked me why. Truth be told, I just cannot describe and list down why that job of all jobs in the world comes to mind. I mean, maybe it all started when I was given the priviledge to personally touch a real dolphin while I was away for vacation in Gold Coast, Australia. I really should thank the animal trainer that gave me the opportunity. =) Anyways, I guess it sort of sparked a further interest. But seriously, I think this video sums it all up why I want to be a marine biologist. Bye Singapore!

I had this great dream few days ago involving X-men. Haha. I know. It sounds so corny and stupid. But it was nice. It was sort of equivalent to the Desperate Housewives dream and the constant dream of sex in the toilet. But this dream was more of talking and interacting than action. Haha. It was nice. I get a warm, fuzzy and longing feeling inside when I think about it. How quaint.

how true =)

2006-06-19T23:13:00.000+08:00

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Asri!

Asri can run sixty-five kilometres an hour - that's really fast.
The air around Asri is superheated to about five times the temperature of the sun.
The pigment Indian Yellow was manufactured from the urine of cows fed only on Asri.
Humans share over 98 percent of their DNA with Asri.
Asri will often glow under UV light.
It took Asri 22 years to build the Taj Mahal!
A cluster of bananas is called a hand and consists of 10 to 20 bananas, which are individually known as Asri!
A chimpanzee can learn to recognize itself in a mirror, but Asri can not.
Pound for pound, hamburgers cost more than Asri.
In the Great Seal of the United States the eagle grasps 13 arrows and Asri!

Omg. Fact number 2 and 5 are just so true. Now I can duly say, "I told you so" to all those non-believers. =p Haha. Thanx to Elyn for this.

lotr craze

2006-06-19T21:48:00.000+08:00

I always get like this when it comes to Lord of The Rings. Haha. All those cataclysmic battles, whether it be at Helms Deep, Mines of Moria, Minas Tirith or at Isengard, each and everyone one of them are different and were shot not just for the purpose of supplying testosterone-filled males with huge doses of violence and action. They were more of for fulfilling the whole scene and setting of the battle for Middle-Earth. How wonderful.

Obviously, Legolas and Haldir satisfy every bit of my desire. Haha. But then again, Haldir was mercilessly stabbed by an irritatingly merciless Uruk-Hai. Oh well, Legolas is still alive and kicking. Haldir might just be reincarnated or something. Hmm.

Omg. Eowyn. Ugh. That slutty bitch should just rot in hell. Arwen is far more beautiful and definitely a better looker than you. So give me a reason why Aragorn whould ever fall in love with you. This is what I think of you...

And I seriously cannot comprehend and fathom how some people don't understand the storyline of Lord of The Rings at all. It's such a conspiracy.

His words today just totally made me want to slit his throat, kick it in a bucket, mash it and sprinkle it all around school. "You seem to be more involved in guitar thanyour studies. It's not worth it."

Please. I decide what is worth it in my life. And who ever made you my mind and heart anyway? Just because you are of higher authority in school does not give you any right at all to control what I want to do and what I prioritise.

euphoric sensation

2006-06-14T01:17:00.000+08:00

Today started out as a total bore. I am seriously not up to studying and doing anything studies-related. It's times like these that I'd rather be committed to Council or Guitar rather than studying. But oh well, life's a bitch. I swear nothing good will ever come out of this holiday period. I mean, in the context of studies, that is. Other than that, it's been quite a wonderful holiday period. Even rehearsals are fun. Just because we sort of are neglected most of the time.

Our Shared Dreams should just be played by the band and no one else. There's no point in it at all. In other words, I'm excited to perform for Panorama but I know it's really seriously not be worth the 30 bux people pay for.

I'm here to declare that I have watched X-Men 3 thrice in less than a month. All thanks to my uncle and Farhana. Haha. I don't mind it one bit actually despite heavily against the mechanisms of the movie. It's always a different experience when you watch movies with different people. Like how Nana almost puked and ran for the toilet in the middle of the movie and how she pissed off the uncle next to me. Haha. Sweet sweet memories.

Being a thoroughly loyal student of my insitution, I was very very adamant about trespassing into the grounds of our mortal enemy. But then again, I don;t give two hoots about the whole rivalry thing. It's all a bunch of bullshitting crap. Although I have to admit that I love their building. Most probably cause it's new and erm.. New. =)

God, I miss Shikin and Syidah like hell. That few hours of crapping, bitching, laughing and just being us non-stop was the ultimate pleasure ever. Haha. It actually cured the whole nauseating feeling in me. It was just bliss. I'm definitely looking forward to our next meeting. Maybe Shikin will finally get a grind from a hot guy, Nana finally gets a hold of Thai boy and Syidah gets to experience a pain-free Simpang-eating day. Haha. I miss them. Loads. I miss Reza too. =)

Now I have a reason to visit MJC more often. =)

Oh and for lack of self-amusement and for no reason whatsoever, just head on HERE. =) Thanks ya.

always a first

2006-06-12T01:27:00.000+08:00

It's Over - Me

Look me in the eye

Tell me what we had has

Gone

And say that it's all over

Tell me that it's true

That you have made it all so

Clear

How I was never the one

But you kept on saying

That we could work it out

And you never did realise

That this was the end

CHORUS

It's over

Walk away from me

Never once look back

Cause you know it was never me

It's over

Turn your back around

Walk towards that road

Cause we were never meant to be

It's over

I know all along

That you were just waiting

For

The right time to shed the light

I've heard it all before

Never once did you show

How

You knew this was wrong

Cause you kept on saying

That we will work it out

And you never did realise

That this was the end

CHORUS

You know I know you were thinking about it

You never did have the courage to show it

So now I'm giving you a clear way out

To have the one that you've dreamed off

CHORUSx2

It's all over

This just sort of came out of the blue. Haha. It's sort of a mess of sorts and I agree. I have no idea where this came from but yeah, it's an improvement from Angels; my Teachers' Day song. It's been a while since I wrote songs so here's one that came just like that. I just hope it doesn't sound like any other song out there. According to Shikin, Angels sort of reminded her of some song. The last thing I want to do is plagiarize the work of another songwriter.

I guess I'll let you guys listen to it once it get's 'recorded'. Haha.

ain't no other man

2006-06-09T22:25:00.000+08:00

For some unfathomable reason, I'm in love with Aguilera's Ain't No Other Man. Maybe it's because of the big band sound or maybe it's the awesome vocals as usual. But it's definitely not because of the title. You prudes. =p

I miss studying Higher Malay. I seriously do. It's not that I am not relieved that I am spared from the torture of having to go through another Malay exam which includes memorising hordes of idioms and rarely used words. It's more of identity. That's right. You heard it here first. Haha. Me of all people finally admitting that I feel less of a Malay. I guess it's true what they say, "You never know what you miss till it's gone." =( On a lighter note, I seriously just can't help but smirk and throw a huge laughing fit everytime I remember that Hana and Messa are taking MLEP. =)

I can't wait for tomorrow! Finally I get to be reunited with my Synergees. Although I am expecting that not many will turn up but what the hell. I seriously hope Florence, Aiysha, William, Ben Chow and Benny turn up. And obviously watching The Omen is gonna screw me upside down. Haha.

lacking

2006-06-01T03:08:00.000+08:00

My votes will only be for Paul Twohill and Jonathan. If I ever get to voting that is. The rest were just so bland and their voices were weak and emotionless. It was so bad. I'm surprised that Paul actually has a nice voice. He made me love my favourite song ever even more. =)

I love Wikipedia. It's such a useful tool to find out bout anything under the sun. It's that useful. It has been my Economics tool whenever the notes are too lengthy and impossibly ridiculous to understand.

Do you know that Adam Lopez, an Australian, has been entered into the Guiness World Book of Records for being able to sing the highest note ever by a male? And that note is even higher than Mariah Carey's whistle register. Speaking of whistle registers, singers with that innate ability are very rare in the real world. Some of them include Kelly Clarkson, Mariah Carey, Christina Aguilera, Tamar Braxton (Toni Braxton's sister) and Minnie Riperton. Oh and by the way, Minnie Riperton is thought to be the most versatile whistle register singer ever as she can immitate sounds of birds and can even sing clearly in whistle register!

Do you know that there are only less than 10 omega-level mutants in the Marvel Comics-verse? Among the "less than 10" are Jean Grey, Iceman, Franklin Richards (son of Mr Fantastic and Invisible Woman) and Elixir. This also means that their powers are limitless and they are able to just do about anything that their powers allow them to.

All thanks to the extensive information from Wikipedia. =)

idolicious

2006-05-31T00:34:00.000+08:00

I watched the repeat telecast of Singapore Idol just now since I didn't manage to catch it the other day. I'm appauled and surprised at the quality of singers that they placed through. Seriously, some either had no sense of rhythm or no sense of tuning at all. Sad really. I might sound like I'm the best, but I'm not. Haha. Just that they really put through some really bad people in there. Oh well.

Finally! Omg! I can breathe easy a lil since Yesterday Once More, La Bamba and Amigos Para Siempre has been infused in my fingers. At least, I am able to play the songs without reference. Now all I need to focus on is timing and *poof* I'm all set for Panaroma and Victoria Concert Hall's performance. Haha. Actually, I have this stupid French song left which I will never ever get the hang off. I have to admit though, with longer nails, I make great music with my lovely guitar. =)

I miss singing. In fact, I miss performing. I miss performing during Teachers' Day. I miss all those times we stayed back and rehearse so that everything could be perfect. I miss how we would just talk about slash like no one was listening at all. I miss singing in front of the whole class with my stupid solo part. I miss how we could turn that last minute idea into something which made everyone roar with laughter. I miss my class. =) But obviously I miss performing more. =p

You know, no matter how damn hard I tried, I never could move on. I never was the one to quickly move on. Hell, I can even feel it. The feeling just lingers on and on to the point where I get really disgusted with myself. Rationally, I made a wonderful choice of leaving. No one in their right frame of mind would ever go back. But why do I keep wanting to?

over the hedge =)

2006-05-28T03:14:00.000+08:00

Over The Hedge is one hell of an animation movie. It is a typical family-themed movie and no one can deny that. You have got to admit it though, the animation is definitely one of the best. Detailing was done comprehensively right down to a tiny grain of sand. Nothing was left undetailed. Texture was very well represented and movements were very life-like and fluid. Very very nice. =)

Panorama is like weeks away and I still have yet to master all the scores. Hell, two of the four songs have not even been played properly yet. I'm so dead. I shall try my utmost best to devote my time in practicing guitar and obviously on revising for Biology, Mathematics and Chemistry. Oh well. There's still time. I hope.

last stand

2006-05-26T23:06:00.000+08:00

**Spoilers for X-Men 3:The Last Stand ahead. Don't read if you don't want to be spoiled.**

Omg. I never thought I would say this, but I miss Bryan Singer. Seriously. I think he could've done a far better job than what Brett Ratner did with X3. In a way, the movie was just disappointing, especially the way some characters are used or lack of in the movie. Cyclops was mercilessly killed off in like less than half an hour into the movie. I understand if he doesn't want to resemble everything to the comics but killing off one of the most intregal characters in the X-verse is such a stupid stupid move. Who the hell does he think he is? And to think that Cyclops was killed by his very own soul mate!

Which brings me to the point on Phoenix. Sure, her powers are much more spectacular now and she is rightfully said to be the most powerful mutant ever but her portrayal was disappointing to fans. I was hoping so much that she was going to emanate that Phoenix fire-bird that has always been an integral part of her character. But as you guessed it, not even a spark of flame coming from her was shown. Brett Ratner should have seriously studied how Singer portrayed hints of Phoenix in X2. Even her fiery eyes are gone, replaced by demonic fully-dilated pupils. And her character was not used how she should have been. Phoenix will never ever stand in one corner while other mutants fight. She would just join the fight without being told.

In some parts of the movie, Phoenix was more psychotic than troubled and confused. She was sort of like a mental patient from the psychiatric ward rather than an all-powerful goddess of life incarnate. It was just a huge mistake on Ratner's part that he did not study closely Singer's work.

The movie was very sketchily joined together. They were some mistakes that were obviously overlooked. Especially the scene where Magneto landed the Golden Gate Bridge on Alcatraz when suddenly day became night. And the ending scene where there were still alot of cars on the bridge with their lights turned on (even though before this no headlights were on) despite Magneto throwing cars into the Alcatraz building.

And OMG! Worst of all. The way Phoenix was killed off. That was the stupidest thing ever. One advice to Ratner: Phoenix is the most powerful mutant ever. She cannot be killed by a mere stab in the heart by Wolverine. Firstly, she would have anticipated every attack since she is a telepath. Secondly, in the first part of the movie, Wolverine was almost killed by Phoenix and was being thrown around. How the hell did he suddenly became stronger? A mere Class 3 mutant is definitely weaker than a Class 5!

Argh. So irritated. But then again, I tried to block all my knowledge on X-Men in other to enjoy the movie. It was stimulating and jaw-dropping. Definitely worth watching if you don't mind the out-of-context of some parts and you have no knowledge at all bout the X-verse. I hope there is another sequel but this time, directed by Bryan Singer. There was definitely a hint after the credits. I hope it's true. =)

VOTE FOR MCPHEEVER!

2006-05-24T21:37:00.000+08:00

Attention all fellow citizens of the United States of America

VOTE FOR KATHARINE MCPHEE
DIAL 1866 43657 01/03/05!

Vote for talent and voice! Not spastcism and moves!

Feel the MCPHEEVER! =)

renascita

2006-05-20T21:14:00.000+08:00

I just realised that I never did talk about the Council Investiture. That, to me, was the major event of the year mainly because supposedly I was the Overall In-Charge of the event. I still think I failed as an OIC but the event was organised and done in such a fashion that only would be possible with all of the workforce of the 20th and 21st council.

That day marked the first day ever I wore the school blazer. A huge achievement considering the previous blazers worn by me were all for show and not for any particular occasion. Wearing that dark green blazer made me feel so a part of TPJC that it was just an indescribable feeling. Well, yeah, in other words, it made me feel so loyal to TP in a sense. Mock me. I don't care. Who the hell would be able to say that they have worn the school blazer?

So anyway, investiture was a huge deal to me for reasons unknown to myself. It might be because I was in-charge of it or maybe it was just that I saw the look of the 20th council and I thought to myself whether when this day comes next year, am I gonna regret doing things I have yet to do or am I gonna be satisfied during my year of council term. To make matters worse, they began to get so emotional. Me, being emotionally-unstable myself, had no self-control at all. And to think that it was only the rehearsals. Haha.

The actual day was damn emotional. Watching the 20th walking in with Gloria Estefan's Reach playing in the background was just an awe-inspiring moment. Iskandar's speech made him show his true innermost emotions. Walking down that red carpet with people cheering and applausing made me feel so honoured to be a councillor. Then comes the pinning of the badges. Haha. I remember telling Nadia that if she did cry, I would too. True enough I did. And the song that was playing did not help at all in trying to make us feel better.

Investiture, in other words, was an emtional experience. "Inspiration leads to the rebirth of a whole new council." =)

vincicated

2006-05-19T21:53:00.000+08:00

Da Vinci Code was such a disappointment. Somehow, I was expecting it to be far greater and impactful than it really was. But then again, it was sort of insightful to actual view the places, artifacts and characters featured in the book. I mean, visual aid is always a good thing when you read books. Take Harry Potter for example. From the movie we can actual get to visualise how Harry looks like and how he expresses himself through his body language. It's just easier to imagine. =)

Back to my point about Da Vinci. It's just too precitable. I mean, the director obviously wanted to squeeze everything in the book in a short period of time, which never is a brilliant way of adapting one of the most controversial literature ever written to screen. There's always points in the movie where I would be like, "That's it?". In other words, Da Vinci Code was a dissapointment. Full-stop.

I hate it when I get sick over something stupid like being stressed and being way over my limit. Seriously, it makes me feel so darn weak. Worst of all, it always comes before exams. Just my luck for having a wandering mind that just uses up more of my energy than my other bodily activities. In other words, ejaculating is far easier than thinking. Haha. Which at lengths, is sort of true in many people. To sum it up, I'm still normal. Thank God.

Dad finally got a job which pays sort of equivalent to the one he was terminated from. God knows I'm thankful. Happy? It's debatable. I mean, obviously I'm delighted that he finally scored a job which enables him to sell the car which has been sort of a burden and make use of the company vehicle (a pick-up truck). But what the job entails is worrying. It's bad enough that I get home late practically every day, he will be late every single working day. This obviously equates to less of seeing each other. Oh well, at least I get to be all country and ride in a pick-up truck. It's no Chevy but what the hell. Haha.

I want Katharine McPhee to win. Taylor Hicks, kiss your soul patrol ass goodbye. I for one, do not want a spasticated and grey-haired American Idol. =)

But I do want her as an Idol. Hehe. =) Here's to you..

LTC=craziness

2006-05-05T20:14:00.000+08:00

Since Hanna wants me to write bout the LTC, I shall. Haha. I'm so nice. =)

It's been quite a while since my last post and all of that can be blamed on Council. But oh well, I don't mind a bit. I feel belonged, finally. Then again, I was never really lonely either. But it feels so much better to be able to get to know more people regardless of how different we are. =) Enough of digressing. Let's get to the camp shall we?

I seriously was dreading the camp for no particular reason. I guess at the start I thought the 21st was going to be a huge flop. Seriously, the turn outs during meetings, briefings and the number of drop outs just scared me. I couldn't care less bout them then. I just wanted to be a Councillor. Nothing else seemed to matter. Obviously investiture was the priority, what with me being the so-called i/c. Oh well.

I hate the mornings cause everyone is like shouting and screaming at us. Seriously, I can understand why they do it but I hate it when others start complaining. But then again, every shout I get from the 20th just gets me cranky as hell. Hanna is one scary woman when she's doing PTC. Only during that time, I feel like kicking her and stuffing her down a man hole. But I love you, Hanna! =)

I couldn't care less bout what I was missing during camp when me, Fatin and once, Hazimah went out to buy stuff for Investiture. All I could think of was Investiture. I missed wet games, dinner and TPJC Runway. Oh well, all in the name of work.

Confidence Walk was such a disappointment but at the same time a relief that I did not get to go along with it. Thank God. When such things happen, you definitely have to be thankful. I couldn't imagine myself going through all that knowing that things actually are present around school. That night, I respected Ranjani more than ever before. She's braver than all the men in council put together. Ranjani my Chubby-Whubby. =)

Seniors' Night was just a breath of fresh air. Everyone was enjoying themselves and no one put on airs. 20th and 21st were one and everyone came together. I'll miss that night more than anything. I just want it to go on and on. Ok. Minus skirts. =p Such sexy legs, eh? Jimmy was just drunk that night. Haha. He gets drunk without drinking. I bet he was enjoying himself more than anything. So did Yanto, Alvin, Ming Hao and countless of other guys that got turned on. =)

I never did want to be an EXCO in the first place. But oh well. All thanks to Nicholas for nominating me. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be the first ever male Head Secretariat. =) And boy was I honoured to be Nadia's successor. Only God knows how much I admire her.

One camp is not enough for memories that would last a lifetime. I want more. I want the 20th council . =)

last stand

2006-04-21T20:32:00.000+08:00

You know, I find it highly disturbing and unfair at how Halle Berry and Hugh Jackman keep gracing the front of every photoshoot promoting X-Men 3: The Last Stand when the other cast members serve, to me, a higher purpose in the movie. And to top it off, only both their names are shown on the posters. What the hell? Shouldn't Patrick Stewart, an acclaimed actor, be recognised instead? And isn't he the central and most prominent character? Sheesh. An industry is never without its politics.

I'm so hyped up for the movie. It's gonna be much better than the first and second combined and I'm sure of it. Why? Just because, as much as how they deny it, Phoenix is gonna be one of the central characters and she gets to freaking fly and emanate her golden Phoenix emblem! Damn exciting! If this happens to be the last movie, there should be a Phoenix spin-off. It's only fair to include Jean Grey as a spin-off since she's beloved by many and obviously the Phoenix Saga is such a huge part of the whole X-Men franchise and not some hairy and short hot-tempered monster they call Wolverine. Ugh.

So anyway, I've seen pics of the powers Phoenix is gonna demonstrate and I'm freaking excited bout all of them. Even Professor X is no match for her. Which means that she's an Omega-level Mutant! Haha.

Geek part aside, I have no idea how I'm going to go through the next two weeks or so. It's gonna be one hectic ride and I don't plan on falling flat in between. I'm so sorry for stressing Fatin most of the time since this is like my first time ever leading something this huge at such a short period of time. I'm super sorry. But I shall make it up to you at the end. =)

Hopefully tomorrow is going to be a fun day. Please head down to Tampines Junior College for our Annual Open House cum Fun Blast Carnival @ TPJC in conjunction with our 20th Anniversary. Admission is free and the event is from 10-4. =)

Happy Birthday Syida! =) you are one old makcik.

headache. MAJOR!

2006-04-19T22:47:00.000+08:00

Council + Preliminary Ideas for PW + CG Rep = Major Headache. =)

Help me survive the next two weeks. Please.

Syidah! I need you. I'm gonna blow up soon if I don't talk to you realll soon.

commitments

2006-04-16T01:12:00.000+08:00

Don't expect much from me these few weeks in terms of blogging. I might not be bothered to blog anymore. Haha. No. I'm not depressed or anything. Just too lazy to blog. It's a phase and I'll get through this. Oh well, in the mean time, read someone else's blog? Haha.

I'm seriously doubting my decision to join the Student Council. I mean, not that I was forced into it or anything, it's just that I sort of dread how I'll have even lesser time for studies and my family. It sort of sucks to think of it. I guess I just have a thing with commitments. My mind's all fucked up when it comes to making decisions. And usually, I end up making regrettable decisions, placing me in difficult positions. And I can't believe that some people got into Council. Not that I'm being prejudiced or anything, it's just that she never really was the type.

I'm dreading school. =(

It's only halfway through the month and I'm broke. That's sad. Haha. But spending the money was all worthwhile. Minus that vocabulary book that was necessary. =)

I never understand why I post up songs that simply reek of love and what nots even though neither were experienced at that point of time. I keep on remembering those times of deceit and disgust. I fucking hate you. Forever.

Bringin' On the Heartbreak - Mariah Carey (originally by Def Leppard)

Gypsy, sittin lookin pretty
A broken rose and laughin' eyes
You're a mystery
Always runnin' wild
Like a child without a home
You're always searchin'
Searchin for a feelin'
But it's easy come and easy go

Oh - I'm sorry but it's true
You're bringin' on the heartache
Takin all the best of me
Oh can't you see
You got the best of me
Whoah can't you see

CHORUS 1:
You're bringin' on the heartbreak
Bringin' on the heartache
You're bringin' on the heartache
Bringin' on the heartache
Can't you see
Oh

You're such a secret
Misty eyed and shady
Baby, how you hold the key
Oh, you're like a candle
Your flame slowly fadin'
Burnin' out and burnin' me
Can't you see
Just tryin' to say to you

You're bringin' on the heartache
Takin all the best of me
Oh can't you see
You got the best of me
Oh can't you see

CHORUS 2:
You're bringin' on the heartbreak
Bringin' on the heartache
You're bringin' on the heartache
Bringin' on the heartache
Can't you see
Can't you see

No
No
No-

You got the best of me
Oh can't you see
You got the best of me
Oh can't you see
You're bringin' on the heartbreak
Bringin' on the heartache

CHORUS 3:
You're bringin on the heartbreak
You're bringin on the heartache

REPEAT

reza

2006-04-05T23:12:00.000+08:00

Only God knows how I dearly miss you, friend. As I've said before, no one can even compare to you. No one comes close to you. There's only one Reza in this world and I'm honoured and deeply satisfied that out of your 17 years to date, I've known you for 4+ years. Years full of laughter, love, arguments, fights, bitchiness, oggling, etc all in the name of pure joy. =) Here's to more years of friendship and hang outs. Love ya loads.

piracy control shit

2006-04-02T22:50:00.000+08:00

Breathless - Corinne Bailey Rae

Seems like everyone else has a love just for them,
I don't mind, we have such a good time,
My best friend, but sometimes, well,
I wish we could be more than friends,
Tell me do you know?
Tell me do you know?
oh..

I get so breathless, when you call me name,
I've often wonderd, do you feel the same?
There's a chemistry, energy, synchronicity
When we're all alone,
So don't tell me
You can't see
What im thinking of.

I can understand that you don't want to cross the line,
and you know i can't primise you things,
will turn out fine,
But i have to be honest, I want you to be mine
Tell me do you know?
Tell me do you know?
oh...

I get so breathless, when you call me name,
I've often wonderd, do you feel the same?
There's a chemistry, energy, synchronicity
When we're all alone,
So don't tell me
You can't see
Oh!

Cause ive tried to do this right in your own time
I've been telling with my eyes, my heart's on fire,
Why dont you realise?
Tell me do you know?
Tell me do you know?
I get so breathless...

I love the song. Just appropriate. Haha. Corinne Bailey Rae as such an old old soulful vibe that sort of reminds me of Billie Holiday and a little bit of Macy Gray thing going on. But she's definitely a much fresher and better version of both. She's one singer who doesn't need big pipes to convey her message across. Her fluid vocals and expressive tone of voice just says it all. But seriously, the Copyright Control programming on her album totally sucks. How the hell do they expect me to try to rip songs from the CD when I can't even hear the entire album. Stupid.

I'm still not there yet in terms of studies. And what am I doing on my weekends to spur myself on to study harder and complete work? Nothing. I swear each and every weekend spent so far this year has been wasted. Resulting in often complaints of lack of time and energy to complete work. To make matters worse, I'm the CG rep. Sheesh. I hope I can slither out of GP tomorrow. I'm so gonna get an earful.

Miss Nur Hanisah bte Zelani, when are you going to be online and help me with LJ? Farhana can't wait for me to start. Haha.

Bumping into ex-Temasekians and teachers from Temasek is so not helping me move on. Haha. I miss Temasek like I never wish I would. I just can't wait to be back there and do something. Tecahers' Day seems sooo far away and I don't think I can wait that long. Then again, walking around school in a totally different uniform is going to be very awkward. A plae sickly forg amidst a group of clouds.

best lecturer in the world.

2006-03-31T19:41:00.000+08:00

I swear she thinks Nazim is telling her the truth. Her coy smile and that very weak and feeble attempt at dodging and trying to be humble is a front. Haha. She actually turned red today due to excessive dose of compliments. I bet she was just trying to stop her head from bloating up. Haha. Class is a riot. Chemistry tutorials to finish by Friday. Wow. Econs is totally nonsensical. Haha. For now, at least. Wait till I get the hang of it. =)

I am honestly fascinated with the human voice. Obviously, those of singers. I mean, there's so much that one can do with their voices. Singing in the whistle register is by far, the most sought after and rare talent one can receive. If you people think that whistle registers come in the form of the femme fatale force, think again. The person who holds the record for the highest note sung is not a woman but a full-fledged male. Hah!

Class has been great. I guess we're slowly bonding and getting to know each other better. Thank God I'm finally able to sort of be myself and just make a fool of myself every now and then. Class Chairman. Wow. Thanx! =) I mean, I wanted the post badly since it's a sure fire way to the Council but I didn't really expect it. Haha. I feel so thick-headed. Class outing anyone?

I miss the old sprinting days. Days when I achieved Gold for sprinting events and relays. Those were the best sporting days. Sprinting that day just made me feel so totally free. Gosh it felt good! Hearing the wind just rush as you sprint is just exhilirating. Hopefully we make the finals which means training for it. Haha. I don't mind. Not one bit.

Happy 18th Birthday Abbas! =)

few minutes

2006-03-24T18:34:00.000+08:00

In a few more minutes, my parents and I are going off to the Anugerah Planet Muzik (APM) at Max Pavillion Singapore EXPO. So fun! Can't wait. =)

If you guys don't know what it is, it's actually Singapore's version of World Music Awards. So yeah. It's gonna be damn cool. I hope. See ya ppl on tv then.

random

2006-03-23T21:12:00.000+08:00

Savin' Me - Nickelback

Prison gates won't open up for me
On these hands and knees I'm crawlin'
Oh, I reach for you
Well I'm terrified of these four walls
These iron bars can't hold my soul in
All I need is you
Come please I'm callin'
And oh I scream for you
Hurry I'm fallin'

Show me what it's like
To be the last one standing
And teach me wrong from right
And I'll show you what I can be
Say it for me
Say it to me
And I'll leave this life behind me
Say it if it's worth saving me

Heaven's gates won't open up for me
With these broken wings I'm fallin'
And all I see is you
These city walls ain't got no love for me
I'm on the ledge of the eighteenth story
And oh I scream for you
Come please I'm callin'
And all I need from you
Hurry I'm fallin'

Show me what it's like
To be the last one standing
And teach me wrong from right
And I'll show you what I can be
Say it for me
Say it to me
And I'll leave this life behind me
Say it if it's worth saving me

Hurry I'm fallin'

Depressed, desperate and deteriorating. Wow. How fun.

hell

2006-03-23T19:34:00.000+08:00

I feel so seriously low in confidence and self-esteem. At times, I feel like seriously just staying at home and just rot my whole life away. I feel so stupid, depressed, unsociable and so obese. Just thinking bout it makes me feel a million times worse.

These few days, I can't even hold on to a conversation, let alone mix around with people. Hell, I tend to find myself sort of finding people to be around with, ending up not really having any fun with them at all. No. It's not any of their fault. In fact, once someone tries to strike up a conversation with me, all I can give are just one-word answers followed by a long pause before the next question arises.

All around me, I see people changing right before my eyes. It's like a sudden burst of metamorphosis. Everyone's studying. Everyone's doing tutorials. Everyone's int studying. But not me. I just feel restless, helpless and just stupid. I swear, everyone in class is better than me. I feel lost, confused and just in over my head.

Out of a sudden, I feel as though I didn't make the right decision. On the way home, I started thinking about how it would be different if I was in another place. And you know what they say, you only start thinking about other alternatives when you have doubts in your choices. I feel exactly just that.

I seriously need to get over this. God, help me. I feel like crying but I just can't. It's funny how I cry during those emotionally heart-wrenching moments in a movie and yet, I fail to do so when my life's all depressing and I feel almost to the brink of breaking. If there is such a thing as karma, it is not doing a bang up job for me.

I wish life was back in Temasek. A place where I know I have friends and people who really care. Life's a bitch.

wow. what a fun day.

2006-03-22T22:21:00.000+08:00

Fucked up day. Seriously, nothing comes close to this... yet.

Bitch bookshop auntie. Project work. Uniform. GP oratorical. No Malay. Guitar 1. Argh. Separated. No more Guitar 4. Zaini. Abbas. Rayner. Abigail. Jun Rong. Sufriena. Edelia. Zhi Wei. No more. Hate this.

All of a sudden I don't feel like guitar. We'll see how it goes. Guitar 1 looks more dead than a frozen piece of chicken slammed onto the road, flattened by a steam roller.

Among us, it's her. Wow.

supernanny! =)

2006-03-16T23:09:00.000+08:00

Supernanny is just a great learning experience. That show is a must watch for those who have annoying little siblings who throw constant tantrums and hit others. No. I'm not saying my brother is like that. Well, okay. Sometimes he's a handful but then again, most kids are. But those shown on television are worse by a mile. It's just miraculous how the state of a household could change from destructive and violent to the epitome of calmness.

Melissa was eliminated and I'm not that surprised. I guess forgetting her lyrics was a huge impact on the votes. But still, her raspy voice is just love. How I wished it was either Kevin Covais or Bucky Covington instead. Lisa Tucker too if she gets worse.

I seriously need to take pictures. Haha. I need to cam-whore with people.

hah. holidays. bleagh.

2006-03-15T23:59:00.000+08:00

This is like one of those few rare occasions where holidays are so totally redundant to me. Haha. Seriously, I could do without them for this week. Maybe I'll be needing them in the future. But not now. How I wish holidays could be adjusted according to when we want to have them. Not having holidays when we want them though. More of like shifting them forward or back but still retaining the number of holidays per year. Haha. That'll be the day. If that day comes, Syidah will be fat and I'll be walking around naked.

Surprisingly, this year the Idol talents are miles better than last year's. Chris Daughtry is so much better than Bo Bice but Kellie Pickler is nowhere near Carrie Underwood. Gotta be protective of my country girl. The first Spectaculars round and Ace started off painfully. That note he hit when he started was just so painfully sharp. Best performances were Katharine McPhee, Elliott Yamin, Paris Bennet and Mandisa. Lisa Tucker gets more and more disappointing. Oh yes! How could I forget Taylor Hicks! Ray Charles has a prodigy at last.

I bet the best thing about being a professional singer is having the honour of singing for a political figure. I was watching the Commonwealth Opening Ceremony and there was this Dame singing Happy Birthday to the Queen. Gosh. That's like the biggest honour ever. Seriously, that, to me, is the mark of a wonderful singer. You can only call yourself a wonderful singer if you've sang for someone great. =)

I've been working on LiveJournal and it has been sooo confusing! Haha. Nisah! Help me! =)

I dread looking at how my whole life's gonna change next week. Everything is gonna be different. New people, new faces and I have a feeling, new tutors. Not that I mind of course. But just the thought of forming new bonds is just so stomach-turning. I miss Fi. She's the closest thing that I had in Tp that reminded me of Syidah. Which brings me to the point that I miss Syidah. =) You better not fast.

boohoo

2006-03-14T23:25:00.000+08:00

You know what? I think people who live in condominiums are darn stupid. Not rich. S-T-U-P-I-D. =) Seriously, if you're rich and all, why is your room smaller than mine? Why do you have to pay for something that you won't use on a daily basis? Why would you want to have a 'private' swimming pool right at your doorstep when you can just travel a short distance away to swim in a public pool and enjoy the same chlorinated water as and when you want to and pay only when you use it? It just doesn't make sense. If they're rich, they would be smart enough to buy a landed property which is much more cheaper in the long run. And of course, many times BIGGER! =) So all you condominium owners out there, don't you dare think you're better off than me, cause you people are just plain stupid.

Guitar exchange was, frankly, boring. It was such a bore. And I thought it was going to be heaps of fun and joy. But no. It was like watching through a scene of a boring documentary about the life of a factory worker. But then again, the start of the day was fabulous. Haha. Stacko is just whacko.

Some people ot stuck in the lift of my block just now. Freaky. First incident of such nature that occured here. And I sincerely hope that it will never happen to me. I bet the trap-ee was in such a state of fright being trapped on the 7th floor. He should be thankful that me and my mother decided to be civic-minded people and called for help. Please leave me a Video iPod and my mother, Frank Sinatra at our doorstep. =)

Guitar Club is love.

fucktard

2006-03-06T20:28:00.000+08:00

I swear to God that I hope that man who murdered his step-daughter be hanged to death. Seriously, if you don't want to have anything to do with your girlfriend's children, don't fucking get involved with her. I'm sure there's plenty more fish in the sea. There's no need to go and murder a 2-year old girl just probably because you can't stand her or something. If indeed he is guilty and he somehow is spared from the death penalty, I seriously hope God burns him in hell for the rest of eternity.

If anyone as much as hurt my brother, I'll kill them. I'll tie them up and ask them nicely how they would like to be killed; castration, strangulation, bullet through the head etc. =)

First day and people are already complaining of how boring the entire programme is. Seriously, we didn't plan it. And I so love some people in my OG. And that teacher too. Haha. Damn cute.

bday

2006-03-02T21:58:00.000+08:00

This post was meant to be done on Tuesday the 28th of February since that was the actual day of my mother's birthday. =) But as usual, I had some scholastic work that needed to be done, which, in this case was the debate. But oh wells. Had so much fun at Swensen's; laughing, smiling, crapping, eating and just getting together itself was a joy. It's been 43 years she's been on this Earth and I sure do hope there's more to come. Hell, there's still more graduations, wedding, birthdays and more celebrations that will need her presence. I love her loads and no one can ever replace her. =) Happy 43rd Mum!

Debate was freaking nerve-wrecking. That shall be my first and last attempt at a debate ever. Please remind me to reject any recommendations from teachers who think I can debate. Seriously, it was scary. I bet I was the only one who was not into it at least one bit. Hell, I was screaming for joy when we didn't get through.

Never kenw that a camera could get people so excited! Haha. I shall post them pics in my next post maybe. For now, here's what you do at Swensen's when you are bored and waiting for the food to come. =)

congrats bahas!

2006-02-27T21:00:00.000+08:00

I just found out that the team are going on to the semi-finals of the debate and I'm so proud of them! =) Congrats to you ppl! I wish I would have been there to at least support them. But alas, my head feels like it's gonna explode and release tiny seeds that will eventually grow into me. Ah. Blame medication for my crapiness.

I seriously don't get how and why people protest. I mean, isn't it better to just have a dialogue session to state your views and opinions about something you are totally against? Freedom of speech is not something that we should take for granted. What's the use of protesting and rioting if they result in people getting hurt or killed. I bet that most riots and protests have had no effect on the government and still the problem will never be solved. Hell, don't you guys think that by rioting and protesting, you're portraying yourselves in a bad light and the government will be more concerned on the nation's safety rather than what you are against. We are given brains to actually make use of and not act on emotions.

I know I sound so politcally-concerned out a sudden. But I've been watching the news and suddenly I'm reminded of how riots get out of hand and often end in disaster. History is there for us to reflect on past events, not continue doing it. Some people never learn.

Syidah! Crash Tp soon. We need to be depressed and indulge in good things! =)

unfair

2006-02-27T15:54:00.000+08:00

You know life's unfair when you found out that your grandmother who is nearing 60 just bought a new Nokia phone that you have set your eyes on even though that phone is made for the opposite gender. And to make matters worst, your grandmother does not even have the slightest idea on what the cool new functions of her new phone are. And to think that she paid close to $500 for that phone, not konwing it's full capabilities. Argh! Life's unfair! =( Adding more salt to the wound, the value of my handphone has just dropped from $200 to $60 all thanx to the arrivals of new 3G phones and all those new models.

Life's unfair because just when I felt so excited about debating even though I am not fluent in Malay and our opponents just happened to be MLEP students, I fell sick and lost my voice. To make matters worst, I let my whole team down and now they have to face the debate without my help. I feel as though I'm a traitor but seriously, it was never my intention to fall sick and not attend school today which coincidentally is the day of my debate. Hell, even my parents think that I'm escaping the debate. Sheesh. I know everyone will be thinking in the same way but i couldn't care less really. Berani kerana benar, takut kerana salah (being brave is knowing that you are right, being a coward is knowing that you are wrong). But I do hope that they kick ass this afternoon and that my supposed speech helps them. Good luck! =)

I'm still contemplating on whether to visit the doctor or not. My head still feels as though it was knocked down by a car and then caught in a stampede of bulls. Seriously, if not for medication, I think I would have fainted. I have no idea whether it's just a normal super-sized headache or migraine. Whatever it is, I want to come to school tomorrow! Ugh. I can just sense the unluckiness of this week already.

random

2006-02-25T14:22:00.000+08:00

Ok. This will be a tribute to Abbas. Haha. No he's not dead. This post will be dedicated to him since he wants me to talk about him to make up for not talking bout him during my post on Orientation. Haha. Let's see. Abbas is nice and he claims to look like Tobey Maguire which in some cases is quite true. Although he insists that Tobey Maguire looks like him. He's usually silent and soft-spoken. I haven't really encountered him when he's angry, sad, depressed or unusually hyped up. He's the nicest person in Guitar 4 and he knows why. Unfortunately, being older than me does not mean that he is taller. =) Don't worry. You'll grow taller sooner or later.

That's all that I can say about Abbas for now. I hope you are contented. Haha. I shall add more when I know more bout you. Oh wait! There's one more. He's a Damaian and has always been one. Being a loyal Bedok West ex-student. I naturally would hate him. Haha. But he's a cool guy. =)

That's it. Don't get your head all bloated up, Abbas.

plans

2006-02-24T19:31:00.000+08:00

Seriously, I cannot take another week of depression and lack of luck. I hope next week is going to be soo much better and just full of joy and smiles; no obstructions, unwanted behaviour and people. Let's be positive, shall we? Haha. Next week is just going to be happy happy me and everything will be cast away. I shall smile more and not care about anyone who gets in my way of true bliss. =) The weather will be wonderfully windy and cloudy without any sign of the freaking hot sun or a thunderstorm. Everything will just go the way I want it and nothing will make it otherwise. Not even a bitch.

Time flies so fast when you're having fun. One more week and the old will be replaced by the new and new bonds will be forged while some bridges just burn away. Hana and Messa, I seriously hope you guys get into Tp. =) I need people who know me to bitch around and gossip with. And I know life will be much easier with you great people around. Hell, I never will be able to feel depressed.

Syidah, I hope you are feeling way way better. I was so looking forward to today but I guess there were unforseen circumstances. Haha. Oh well. There's always next week or something. And you better feel better when that time comes. Omg. I just realised that next Friday would be such an appropriate day for a movie. Haha. Posting will so get us into the mood.

Well, this was intended like 3 days ago but internet was freaking slow and incessantly modem-ic. Haha. Hope you like it. =)

depression??

2006-02-20T20:16:00.000+08:00

I swear this whole is going to be as bad as last week, if not, worse. Everything that I hoped will turn out fine and cheery just turned out to be so dismal and incessantly depressing. Hell, the day started off well with GP lessons and all. Guitar makes me feel so outcasted. Seriously, I hope she gets out fast. Not only is she interfering with my hopes and dreams, she's cutting the freaking queue. Fuck you.

And you. Seriously, stop it. I've had enough and I've been so kind in order not to blow my top and bring you down to size. One of these days during the week, if you ever get near and irritate the hell out of me as you always do, you will not only hear me shout and scream, I will walk away from you forever. =)

Syidah, thanks for messaging. That was one of the only moment of joy for me. And Fi's depression is contagious I think. It's an outbreak, I tell you.

unlucky

2006-02-17T20:39:00.000+08:00

I swear this week has been the unluckiest week ever, with the exception of Monday and Tuesday. Omg. I could seriously kill someone right now. I never ever wanted to debate. EVER! Sheesh. Some people just don't understand it when I say "No". And the motion is so vague and nonsensical. Argh. And to make matters worst, I'll have to skip guitar since the debate will be on Monday at 430pm! This is so irritating. Not only will I be behind those guitar pros, I most probably will have to miss some important stuff. Seriously, I need to hurt someone.

Some people are beginning to irritate me. Seriously, sometimes she can be funny and all that but sometimes, she just have to know her limits. Not everyone approves of her behaviour, especially me. But oh well, some people just don't know that they irritate people.

This post is going nowhere. Haha. Oh. Getting A1 for English is so cool. I mean, I feel as though I'm smarter and more proficient in using the English language. Furthermore, getting an A1 is not an easy feat and I feel so blessed to be able to accomplish such an incredible feat. Seriously, every GP lesson is such a joy knowing that I am better than most people. Haha. Omg. Fi is so going to kill me.

Argh! Bahas, go away!

jae

2006-02-14T21:03:00.000+08:00

Seriously, I hate JAE. I hate how you have to choose JCs. I hate how my parents don't understand that the entry into a JC is by merit and not by luck. I hate how they force me into placing Temasek as my first choice. I hate how they try to make me feel bad and guilty by looking so freaking disappointed and sad. I hate how I had to scream in their faces to wake them up and make them realise that it's my freaking choice. I hate how after that they still persist on Temasek even though my results even after deduction is far from the cut-off point. Sheesh. If I have to take one more talk of how Temasek is better, I would seriously scream.

On a much lighter and cloud nine-y note, today was fun. Haha. Everyone was receiving flowers, gifts and etc. For the first time in my whole entire existence so far, I received flowers. Haha. Thanx to Aruna, Fi and Su. To those who I gave Famous Amos to, you people have been so nice to me and so it's only fair that you receive the best on this special day. =) Mind you, that thing was not cheap. Haha. =p

Syidah still cracks me up after all these time, even when I am interrupting Hakeem's time with her on Valentine's. Although according to Mr Hakeem, he does not celebrate Valentine's. Fine. Haha. Syidah thinks that I have found love. She thinks that I'm so totally in love with her beautiful figure, gorgeous face, and tall frame. Haha. I think it's true too.

Seriously, you and your racist bitch of a girlfriend can just go to hell. And you, don't you dare hate her just because she's not yours. Seriously, you are damn stupid and immature if that's the reason why. And you, stop thinking that you're gorgeous and beautiful when you could really use some plastic surgery. Seriously, if you don't like them to be there, LEAVE.

random

2006-02-01T19:34:00.000+08:00

Port Dickson was such a bore. Minus the postcard beaches. Hell, I love the beaches there! It was just perfect and untouched by civilisation. Just soft white sand and clear blue water. I sort of sun-dried a crab to death while taking pictures. Haha. I swear I had no idea that it was dead. I mean, it was moving once in a while. When we were leaving, my father picked it up and it was not even moving a muscle. Sad. Oh well, there are plenty more crabs in the sea. =) Hope I don't disrupt the ecosystem or something. Omg. Imagine seeing the news tonight and one of the headlines are fish in Port Dickson all dead.

So anyway, the 'resort' that we stayed in was most probably the worst one ever. Seriously, there were no controls for the air-conditioning units and the television. And the worst part? It was so fucking stuffy. I swear I smelled people once we entered. Smelt like how you would smell if you were running 5km and stopped bathing for 3 days after that. Yes. It's that bad.

Chinese New Year celebrations this year was sort of dismal, as in dull, not sad. Usually, it would be a whole bunch of us from my father's side crashing into my great grandmother's 1 bed room house (you can imagine the uncomfortable-ness and crampiness) on the first day. But since, my father had this brilliant idea of going overseas, we went alone yesterday. Thus, I had to smile and entertain her conversations. It will forever be the same conversation over and over again. She'll say how much I've grown up and how I could get married now. Then she'll switch to saying that I should study first before getting married. And I will forever smile and nod and act as though I feel so honoured. Haha.

Fatimah. Haha. You make me laugh. I swear you said "ooh" when you fell. =) We have so much in common. Haha. Clumsiness, Days of Our Lives fanatism, Archie comics and Hindi movies. But I seriously hate pink and purple. Especially pink. It's such a disgusting colour and should be banned. Although I won't mind wearing pink socks bought by my mother. Haha. =)

I miss Reza, Shikin, Nisah, Farhana, Syidah, Hana and Messa. =( I hope you guys miss me too.

school

2006-01-22T22:14:00.000+08:00

Blogging to me, for now, is like Aruna burping in a dignified and lady-like manner, which in other words, is rare. =) I have been exhausted each and every day after school. Seriously, if I'm not sleeping straight after getting out of uniform at home, I'm playing games just to keep myself awake. Tomorrow starts the dreaded events that constitue most of JC life; full-blown tutorials and lectures. I swear if I survive the next few days, I shall be nice to my Chinese family. =) Guitar will be the only thing that will be keeping me sane and in-check. Haha. I love guitar. Minus the struggling to keep up with the rest of them. Sheesh. My musical background is so limited and they still placed me in the same class as ex-band members.

I've been feeling so sick and groggy plus a bout of runny nose. Even so, I have yet to visit the doctor. Haha. I'm sort of apprehensive about asking my parents to fork out more money since I have to pay hundreds for a Graphing Calculator and a guitar. Money matters nowadays.

Finally, Zaini showed me the Khairul that he keeps comparing me with. And I thought it was the skinny and tall one. But sadly, it's the guy that some people say looks like me back in Temasek. Oh but it's ok really. Being in JC, people are much more open and mature (minus the guys) that they accept me for who I am. Haha. That sounded so dramatised. But seriously, people are less shocked about my voice. Hell, they don't even mention it to me at all.

I miss Temasek. Never thought I'd say that but hell, I miss it. I miss our canteen table, our HML class for 3 years, those teachers who incessantly get on my nerves but still managed to squeeze info into me, the CANTEEN FOOD and of course those people who made school easier to deal with.

If only I decided that I never ever want to step foot into a university, I would be working and earning money without ever trying to catch up and turn up for every single lecture and tutorial. JC life is just so packed and right smack in the face that it sort of tires me a whole lot. PE was torture. I can finally move properly after 5 days of aches. =)

fantabulous

2006-01-08T15:44:00.000+08:00

I hereby proclaim that scratch whatever that I typed for my last entry. In a matter of hours, things sort of just changed. And I am sure glad they did. Haha. I love everything that has happened so far and the seniors are the coolest people around right now. Zaini, Charles, Faizura, Pratibha, Syafiq and Edwin are great great people. =) The Who totally rocks.

Orientation night was a blast but tiring. I must say that we performed the best and made everyone laugh the most. I guess, ours was the most controversial. Haha. What with gays, violence, water-splashing and more violence. Haha. I loved it. I am proud of the performers and what we achieved considering the amount of time we used for practices. It was just all so impromptu. Hardest part? Using my deep voice again. Haha. But it was all worth it.

And I so do not think that I sound like him. Haha. Even though most of the seniors think so. Well, I have never heard his voice before. Thnkfully, no one did comment on my voice. And I so loved the girl who told me "to be proud of your voice". =)

first day

2006-01-03T21:44:00.000+08:00

Syidah, I swear I'm crying deep inside. I guess I got to know some people at least. The girls are quite ok. Except for one who sorts of irritates me. Oh, and Hana, she's your cousin. That's what she said. I'm sorry but she irritates me with her constant whining and the way she said, "I'm her cousin." with shame in her voice. I swear, she sounded like she never wanted to let me know but she just had to. I might be mistaken. The OGLs were kind of cool I guess. Charles is just total craziness and he claims to look like Allan Wu which in a way, is quite true. Thank God that I'm not the only one who had no choice but to be there for the sake of the first 3 months of JC. Oh, William! Priya from TKGS seems to know you. Actually, quite alot about you. Haha. She's nice.

I get the impression that people don't like me that much. Maybe because I'm just too anti-social? Haha. I said that to my mother and she gave me that 'yeah, right' look. Is that even so hard to believe? Every moment of the whole day, I was practically waiting to just get out and get home as fast as I can.

The guys in my OG are quite ok. I'm the only Malay guy but they're nice. One offered me a drink from his bottle and the other like me, was silent. =) I hate orientation. I just can't wait to start lesson proper. I don't care if we don't get to know each other. Sooner or later, things will just happen. And I swear the JC is so counting on all of us to stay on after the 3 months. They gave us all these school-related items including the school badge. I just pray hard I don't get to stay there.

Rock-climbing was torture. For the firt time in my life, I actually gained a bruise. Haha. I mean, I've gotten cuts and slashes but never bruises. You know, those type of injuries where there's no visible liquid blood. Sort of like internal bleeding? Haha. All thanks to rock-climbing. But hell, it was fun. I am so gonna be spoiled for choice for CCAs.

Seriously, orientation was pure torture. Everytime I see people talking to each other even though they just met, I feel so outcasted. I swear I heard Hana's chracteristic laughter out of the blue. I have no idea how to survive the next 3 days. I never though that I would say this but, I want LESSONS!

meeting

2005-12-31T00:55:00.000+08:00

Everything was like how I expected it to be today. There's absolutely nothing better than hanging out and just chilling with 3 crazy girlfriends. Haha. I swear everywhere we went, our aura healed everyone. =) From stalkers to meeting new people to dee, it was just pure craziness. It's been awhile since I laughed so hard and had so much fun. Hell, I just hope that won't be the last time I ever get to treat them. Once school starts for all four of us, things might change and hopefully for the better. Can't wait to meet again.

Syidah, you missed out the opportunity to lash out at some bitch working at Aussino. I swear you would have liked to slap her face and just stuff her hand in her mouth. Note to the manager of the Aussino branch at Tampines Mall: Please teach your sales staff proper manners and service etiquette. Please tell them not to be rude to customers and show respect to customers since we are indirectly contributing to their income. If they do not like our beautiful faces and sexy physique, please tell them to shove it. Please also tell them that trying to indirectly say that the customers are just crowding the area is only for cowards. If they have anything to say to the customers, please tell it staright up. =)

This is the sample dialogue between Aussino Bitch (AuBit) and us.

Us: *taking photos of each other wearing this frog bath robe thingy
AuBit: Excuse me, that is only for kids.
AuBit: Tempat ni macam playground sak! (This place is such a playground)
Us: What the hell.
AuBit: If you're not buying anything, get out lah! *closes entrance
Shikz: Well, I almost wanted to buy this notebook.
Us: *left

Seriously, I see no reason why the bitch had to be well, bitchy. We were not disturbing anyone, in fact, we brought smiles and giggles to the faces of those at the counter. We were not obstructing anyone from viewing the bed sheets on display. Hell, no kid in their right state of mind would ever want to buy that mutated frog thingy by the way. And I'm pretty sure no parent will ever buy that ridiculous thing for their kids. If you're tired or having a rough day, at least have some decency to at least be polite and smile because that's what working on the service line is all about. Believe me I know. Fat Bitch.

*I hope this lasts. =)

a lil bit of emo

2005-12-28T23:52:00.000+08:00

I swear I am one nervous wreck as the day draws nearer. I can't bear to think of what people will be thinking of me and my voice especially. Which of course, forces me to be one quiet lil brat who seems snobbish and totally arrogant. Meeting new people has always been a huge serious problem for me. New people scare the crap out of me. Seriously, I'll be reduced to a hobbit in a matter of seconds. Not that I'm being paranoid or anything but that usually happens. I mean, I don't plan on staying like this forever. Blame my parents for never teaching me communication skills when I was a tyke. I feel like just going up to them but my voice just keeps drawing me back.

Truth be told, I have been avoiding going online just to avoid my friends, just because I get this irritating feeling of losing the people I have treasured the most during those 4 years of my life. I never felt like this when I was leaving primary school. Hell, I didn't even care if I was leaving everyone behind and was going to be alone. I guess, some people I met along the way made me realise the importance of friendship and love? Ah, screw it. I'm gonna miss alot of people. It's not gonna be pretty.

reminders?

2005-12-22T23:07:00.000+08:00

Any of you out there just totally hate how wrong things go when you anticipate something undescribably happy to happen? Well, I went to Johor yesterday with such huge hopes of buying a new pair of shoes, preferably in black. Hell, not only were there a lack of black-shoe-manufacturing, black shoes don't come in my size. Hah! Such discrimination against people with big feet. Shoe manufacturers should cater to a broader audience by manufacturing shoes of size 11 and above. How could anyone stand jumping from one shoe store to another just to find out that his feet are just too big for shoes. How!? =p

S0 anyway, I swear I'm going crazy these few days. Haha. Must be that lack of exercise and huge intake of food over the hogging-days. I just hope those pants of mine are still able to squeeze my legs in. =) The fact that school is drawing nearer and nearer each day is so not helping me revert to my own sane self. There is just so much that I have yet to do which mainly, constitutes of shopping for whatever that I want to. Haha. Benny! You're working! Haha. Give me money! =)

I swear the class bbq could have been better if there was more organisation and less people-minding-their-own-business. When I mean the latter, I mean people not even talking to other people and try to mingle with them. Hell, we've been in the same class for two years and still there's not much class spirit. Heck, even the turn-out was not like how I expected it to be. Alvin made it a point to turn up even though he wasn't supposed to be there and I respect him for that. Thanks to Benny for choosing the 'best' spot for a bbq. =p But I sort of had fun with dodgeball and my shoes getting wet due to my extreme cleverness.

I know I haven't posted the pics yet. My bad. Just had no time to do so yet. I've been trying to make ends meet with the time that I have left to basically sleep in and not care much about food. Omg! The latter is proving to be quite a challenge.

It just struck me that I'm probably never ever gonna meet those wonderful people in my class anymore. Thanks to Benny for that sweet sms. Haha. Yours truly will be forever hotter than you and you so cannot deny that. Haha. I shall see you at the airport and you are going to treat me. =) I'm not the one working and with money rite now. =p

Movie Bonanza! =)

2005-12-19T14:41:00.000+08:00

First of all, let me announce that I have been posted to Tampines Junior College by the grace of God and in short, a miracle. Haha. I swear I was anticipating an invitation slip to Serangoon but no, Tampines it is. I have no idea how I'm feeling. Mixed-up feelings again I suppose. Glad and relieved that Tampines is way better than Serangoon. At the same time disappointed that i could not get in Temasek. Obviously, with my Prelim results, that is entirely impossible. How I wish I studied harder. But whatever it is, hopefully I can make the most of 3 months in Temasek. =) Wiwi, you and me are going to stick like glue cause I am so going to be alone and miserable. Haha.

So anyway, guess what? I bought Carrie Underwood's Some Hearts album! Haha. Found it neatly stacked on the New Releases shelves of Music Junction in Tampines. Even though I illegally downloaded almost the entire album, I feel that as an avid fan and future *ahemsingerahem*, it is my unfailing duty to help increase sales for her and boost her popularity in Singapore. Haha. I swear I would never ever buy a Bo Bice album and might consider buying Vonzell's. And I even saw John Stevens' (the red-headed oldies crooner) debut album. Was tempted but not that enticing. I bet the album will be like a Kinder Suprise;nice-looking and delicious on the outside but messy and un-assmbled on the inside. I highly doubt that you know what I mean. Haha.

I swear, I have been splurging my parent's money on movies this month. Let's see, I've watched Chicken Little, Harry Potter (again), King Kong, Pontianak: Harum Sundal Malam II and that's about it. It's more than I usually watch though. Haha. King Kong was a blessing. Haha. Hell, Peter Jackson should just continue doing movie adaptations of books. He's darn good at it. Well, maybe books with fantastical beasts and immensely hot-looking characters. Haha. Adrien Brody was magical. =) Oh and Naomi Watts was in every way, Nicole Kidman's twin. Except maybe when she was sad beyond console. Oh and Andy Serkis, the same guy who did Gollum in LoTR did King Kong. Haha.

Religious exams ended for me today. I must say that my Al-Quran reading is getting way better. Haha. I had even lesser hiccups than my last exams. In fact, I was sort of breezing through despite less than 6 hours of sleep the night before. Guess I'm blessed. I suck at all those history and understanding of Islam issues. Bores me actually. I hope I don't fail that component. So anyway, went today to finish up one more component which was performing Solat Sunat. I had to choose one and I went to choose Solat Duha even though I had no idea what the hell it was about. At least, the examiner was nice and kind. She was the same one that examined me last year and she's the best. She's around 30+ I think and she's beautiful in a way that only I understand. Haha. Seriously. If I could I would marry her. =)

There was this irritating guy who sat in the same class as me during the examinations. I swear he's even worse than our resident Nigger. He kept on trying to immitate Eminem and rap and sound all know-it-all about America and all. Omg. Dam irritating. Let me give you a sample of one of his irritating raves.

Him: Do you know what's 'niggy'?
Another boy: Whatever.
Him: You try saying 'niggy' ah in America and they'll kill you, I tell you.
Another boy: Shut up, Rabbit Teeth!

Tomorrow's class chalet and I wonder who's going. I feel so lazy to go mainly because I have to bring stuff. Haha. I was looking forward to it at first. Then, they wanted me to bring stuff. Haha. Not that I'm complaining, but I'm naturally lazy when it comes to bringing bulky stuff to other places. Haha. I hope everyone turns up tomorrow. I wonder if they invited him. Hmm.

Next year is so going to be an interesting year and much-awaited too! Haha. Mainly because of movies. =p Da Vinci Code and X3 are both being so much anticipated by me. Nyahaha. Paul Bettany is going to be the albino monk in Da Vinci and the trailer showed him performing that mortification ritual. Can't wait! Oh and Mercedes from America's Next Top Model is going to appear in X3 as a mutant, M. Thinking bout all these make me sooo excited. Haha. =)

bAck

2005-12-14T01:48:00.000+08:00

I'm finally back from the trip to Batam. Actually, I got back on Monday but I was just too tired to do anything. Haha. Besides, after almost a week without the computer, my typing's a lil rusty and rough round the edges. So anyway, the trip was sort of ok. Did nothing much really;swimming, bowling, eating, sleeping, shopping. But hell, shopping was so much fun since everything was considerably cheaper than those items in Singapore. Originals of various brands range from a thousand to 3 thousand rupiahs which is only at most sixty Singapore dollars! I was just yearning to buy shoes and all of them were not in my size. Irritating. It just doesn't pay sometimes to have big feet. Anyhow, the hotel service was great and everyone was friendly and spoke English in such cute accents. Haha. I love it. I wouldn't mind going there again actually. Great retreat from the city since the hotel is sort of secluded and isolated from the city area of Batam. But still it retains the cultural and modern aspect of Batam. =)

New layout! I'm just so so proud of my new layout. I managed to turn my own caps of the X-men 3 Announcement Teaser into a nice-looking blend! The pics were of low-quality though but I still managed to capture the essence of the character. Hell, I just can't wait to see Phoenix in action! Seriously, I just can't bear to wait any longer. X-men has always been one of my most loved things in life and I can't wait! I'm just so darn anxious to see who dies. Although I have a feeling that it's gonna be Jean since I don't think Cyclops is gonna be killed off from the show just like that. What the hell. X-men 3 is gonna be worth the wait.

Watched Harry Potter again today. Which makes it the second time I've watched it and the first ever movie that i've watched more than once on the silver screen. Haha. Yay! And before you even ask me whether I cried or not watching it the second time round, let me tell you that I didn't! Haha. In your face! =p Anyway, the teaser poster for X-men 3 is already out at GV Marina and hopefully cinemas nationwide.

I have so many pics to upload and tweak but there's just not enough time. Hell, I think i'm just plain lazy. I'll try my best though to get them done by this week. There's still religious exams to worry about and I haven't even started. How I dread facing those old hags again. Especially the one who goes round scratching her butt and thigh without any sign of shame and care. Argh. Religious exams are pointless to me. Nyahaha. Not as though I know everything. I just see no point in the exams when they are sort of like storybook-reading. These things can just be learned by the mere act of reading and understanding. I guess that's where exams take you to another step;how much do you understand. Ugh.

kal ho naa ho

2005-12-05T00:45:00.000+08:00

Kal Ho Naa Ho is probably the best hindi film I've ever come across. It's even more impactful than Mujhse Dosti Karoge. I bet I cried the most that I ever had over a film during Kal Ho Naa Ho. Hell, maybe it's because I've never experienced any death of my family members and I don't intend to. I feel blessed to have all my family members alive and well. I just can't imagine experiencing death. I mean, watching a fictional character dying already made me cried so bad. I just can't imagine my emotional state at that point of time. I'll probably faint.

So anyway, my stomach's a little bit better I suppose. But still, I'll be visiting the doctor tomorrow probably. Haha. Together with this computer of mine. I've had this computer since I was in secondary school and during the whole course of that time, I've probably sent it for repair more than 10 times? It's either I have no idea whatsoever on proper computer care or Acer is not a great computer brand. Haha.

I love my mother, father, brother, aunts, uncles, grandparents and friends. No one knows what tomorrow brings. No one knows what to expect. I may not have another tomorrow to live. Someone may not have tomorrow. Whatever it is, I love everyone who has been a part of my life. =) Kal ho naa ho...

rEcoRd!

2005-12-03T23:21:00.000+08:00

Hah. You think Joscelin Yeo is the only one breaking those SEA Games records. Hell, I broke three records today;most number of times visting the toilet within half-an-hour, fastest shit, first male ever to experience contraction-like pains every few seconds. =) All thanks to my stomach and whatever that caused those awful awful pains. I swear my anus is like sore now. I'm never ever going to cause my stomach any harm again. *pats stomach*

I loved yesterday to the upper maximum. Such an euphoric moment/day. Haha. I loved everything that happened yesterday. From photos to cake, from Pizza Hut to pool. Everything! Haha. My hand's sore all thanks to pucking. But it was just fun. Pure pure fun. Although I don't think I'll ever step into Pizza Hut ever agin if Jolly's there. And a big thank you to all those who made that Pizza Hut experience much much sweeter by embarassing me. I feel so small. Haha.

The pics will come later though, once I've finished tweaking with them and make everyone look oh, so pretty. =) I swear my stomach is like telling me to just head to the toilet and continue my record-breaking event. But, no. Self-control is important. Even in the most constipating conditions.

aaah!

2005-11-29T23:37:00.000+08:00

First of all, Happy Birthday Nenek! Yay! Hope you live life to the fullest and enjoy every waking moment of it. Wish you all the happiness and longevity in the world. =) I highly doubt she would understand of of what I just said. Let alone, using the internet just to see my blog. Haha.

I feel so guilty. Very guilty in fact. Hell, I wish that sometimes I never had to be in this position. I just wished that sometimes I never got to know them in the first place. I tried really really hard to even out but things just never seem to work. Seriously, I don't care anymore bout what you think and what you have to say. If you have any fucking problem just say it to me face to face. If you're not happy with whoever I hang out with than that's your problem. It's not as if you are perfect. If you're just being selfish then you can just carry your double pounder out the door. =) My give a damn's just busted.

Today was just so fun being alone. Haha. I had no idea that Harbourfront was so nice and peaceful. People! We should really go there sometime soon. I was being so psychotic the whole way to the Keppel Bay Tower cause I was afraid of being banned from the place for looking suspicious. Haha! Hell, I was a tad moody this morning and furthermore, I had this vision of all the corporate buildings in Singapore being heavily-guarded in view of terrorist attacks. Haha. Oh and everyone was looking, no wait, staring at me like as though I'm the first person they've seen with dyed hair and ears stuffed with ear-phones. Bleagh. Finally, I redeemed the 512mb memory card and card reader. Yay!

My Give a Damn's Busted -Jo Dee Messina

Well, you filled up my head with so many lies
You've twisted my heart 'til something snapped inside
I'd like to give it one more try
But, my give a damn's busted

You can crawl back home, say you were wrong
Stand out in the yard and cry all night long
Go ahead and water the lawn
My give a damn's busted

Chorus:
I really wanna care
I wanna feel something
Let me dig a little deeper
No, sorry, nothing

You can say you've got issues
You can say you're a victim
It's all your parents' fault, I mean after all you didn't pick 'em
Maybe somebody else has got time to listen
My give a damn's busted

Well your therapist says it was all a mistake
A product of the Prozac and your codependent ways
So who's your enabler these days
My give a damn's busted

Chorus:
I really wanna care
I wanna feel something
Let me dig a little deeper
No, still nothing

It's a desperate situation
No tellin what you'll do
If I don't forgive you, you say your life is through
Come on, give me something I can use
My give a damn's busted

Chorus:
I really wanna care
I wanna feel something
Let me dig a little deeper
No, man, sorry
Just nothing, no

You've really done it this time
My give a damn's busted

*infer from the song whoever you think you are

Happy Birthday Farha!

pics Grad ones

2005-11-29T01:10:00.000+08:00

lAcK oF

2005-11-27T00:07:00.000+08:00

You know, I've been thinking. After about 2 months or so studying and trying to study for the O Levels, being free with literally nothing to do is just a real irritating sign; I'm boring. Yes. I have come to the realisation that I'm boring. Thus, the reason why I feel outcasted in countless situations and for that I hate myself. I long for the day when I let loose and not care about anything at all. Sadly, that will never ever happen. I guess I love routine. Omg. I think I thrive on routine. But no, not as in routine-boring-stupid work. More of like, orderly and schedules. Haha. I dunno. I guess I love doing the same things over and over again for a period of time. But it sort of gets tiring after a while, don't you think? Hell, even being outcasted is a routine.

I seriously have no idea where I belong. Sometimes I feel used and that my only purpose in life is to serve others. Ugh. Not that I hate helping people. It's just that sometimes I feel that I have been taken for granted and that my efforts are never really recognised. Of course helping is an 'angelic' thing to do but let's face it, even I have my own limitations of how much I can take.

Oh yes, let's not forget the part of me feeling soooo outcasted. I have no idea why I have this feeling. It's just that sometimes I tend to feel as though I'm not wanted even though I want to be around. I dunno. Maybe it's just me being insecure and stuff but I just don't like that feeling. Ugh. I think I'm going psychotic and all crazy. Omg. Utopia sounds like such a good thing now. Imagine a world without conflict and hatred and remorse. Gosh. I could get use to that unless it gets utterly boring and routined. =)

Haha. I love my new camera. I love the fact that I saved up for it and I feel rewarded somehow. I love the smell of the leather cover of my Canon Digital iXUS 750. I love the rich colours of the LCD screen and how switching for viewing to snapping mode is as quick as inhaling. I love how I can zoom in 3 times optically and 4 times digitally. I love the sound that my camera makes when I press buttons. I love how pictures far away look so crystal clear. I love how the flash is so reliable. I love how I only spent $830 instead of $849, inclusive of a free 512 mb memory card and memory card reader and also the leather cover and extra long-lasting lithium battery (The original price of $849 is only for the camera and the contents in the box). I love how I can take pictures with a sephia tone or in black and white. I love how I have themes for the camera. I love how rich and high-quality the picture turned out to be even though the file size is smaller than 1000kb. I love how my camera can snap pictures up to 7.1 megapixels. In short, I love my Canon Digital iXUS 750.=)

Constellatia was utter joy and amazement. Everything was just so surreal and grand! Everyone looked so gorgeous and hot. Haha. The food was great and everything went on so accident-free (yes, I'm accident-prone). I have no idea why but I didn't really feel sad and remorseful. mybe it's because I still have my friends who I probably am going to meet quite often (hopefully). But I'll be missing the great teachers that have sacrificed so much just for imparting their knowledge to me. I'lll miss them. Gosh. I'm so thankful to be surrounded with wonderful people during the last two years of secondary school. I'm am so gonna miss Benny, Florence, Pinyi, Justine, William, Aiysha, Alvin, Ben Chow, Jovin, Eric and the rest that have made such a huge impact in my life during Synergy years. Of course I'll miss Syidah, Shikin, Reza, Nisah, Plod, Farhana, Shahidah, Farha, Ilyana, Elyn, Fatin, Wiwi, Shida, Qazim, Faizal, Faridah and all those who I consider great great friends. I'll miss all of you. Till we meet again...

Forget Me Not -Lucie Silvas

Forget me not, I ask of you
Wherever your life takes you to
And if we never meet again
Think of me every now and then

We had just one day to recall
Now all I want is something more
Than just a fading memory
Left wondering what could have been.

Isn't it a shame, that when timing's all wrong
You're doing what you never meant to,
There's always something that prevents you.
Well I believe in fate, it had to happen this way
But it always leaves me wondering whether...
In another life we'd be together.
We should feel lucky we can say... we've always got yesterday

And as I leave it all behind
You're still emblazoned in my mind
And for that very special day
Nobody loved me in that way

Forget me not, I ask of you
Wherever your life takes you to
And if we never meet again
Think of me every now and then

peNasArAn!

2005-11-21T14:00:00.000+08:00

I was actually intending to post like at midnight since I was still wide awake despite being tired. As always, my computer just doesn't like me at all. Either that or God just totally hates me. I have a feeling electrical appliances have something against me. Is it because I depend on them too much or is it because I just have no proper knowledge on how to care for them. Ugh. I'm a doomsday device on my own.

So anyway, yesterday was quite fun since it's been ages since I last went out and enjoyed myself. Went to a couple of houses and two wedding receptions, one of them being Cikgu Nora's. The first wedding was erm. How should I put this? My step-grandfather's grand-daughter's wedding? Well, you see, as always it's my father's side of the family which is incessantly weird and mixed-up unlike my mother's side; sane and normal. =) So anyway, after my real grandfather died when my father was just 11, my grandmother married another man who divorced his wife. Yeah. There it goes. I wonder if he divorced his previous wife for my grandmother. If that's the case, I have no comments.

Cikgu Nora's wedding was nice. A lil cramped up but it was really grand and warm. Haha. Met some teachers and then saw the gang. It was cool. Saw Cikgu but then it was time for her and her husband to change I think. It's just amazing how I've never remembered meeting some people but when they see me it's like, "Oh, you're her son. OH MY GOD! You've grown!" Wow! Yay! Let's all thank God for making me grow. Haha. Not being psychotic or anything but it's just so typically weird. Cikgu Nora's brother was nice. And he already has like 3 children at the age of 30+? How cool is that. I can safely say that because of my mother, he's clever. Haha. So arrogant. Irritating.

2 more days to Constellatia and I still have nothing to wear! Can we like push it back to like erm.. Next week? At first i thought I had it covered, now I don't know. It's just so confusing. I wish suits were cheap. I bet even those at U2 are expensive. Hell. G2000 has those amounting to almost a thousand! Worst part is, no jeans. Ugh. We shall see. I hope I get my clothes on time. And this zit on my face better be cleared before 5.15 Wednesday!

Camera! I so want Reza's camera. In fcat, I'm thinking of buying it before Constellatia. Hopefully, my mother agrees to it. She has to. That camera of ours has the least percentage of efficiency and dependency. It is fit to be thrown in the rubbish chute and then left to rot, if metal can rot that is.

I loev Penasaran. Haha. All of you should listen to Kris Dayanti's version of it. So nice! I'm so into Malay music now. Even Mawi sounds nice when he doesn't sing live. He sort of sucks but his songs are nice. I wonder how he won. But the fact remains that he is popular. Luck of the draw or just pure attraction on the audience part? Hmm..

fuck voldemort

2005-11-18T23:45:00.000+08:00

Haha! I'm back! Yay! So good to be free again. =) The end of the O's was so not a bad one. In fact. it was quite ok, considering that I cried yesterday while trying to study Chemistry since I felt as though I was not prepared for the end. Yup. I'm sane that way. Haha. I guess it's kinda weird to say that everything happened so fast. I dunno. I have weird mixed-up feelings that i just never like. It's like a feeling that's just hard to swallow. Haha. No one ever gets me but it's ok. =) Why the hell can't God create all humans to be able to only have one feeling at one time and not loads of them at a certain time. I swear I feel too much. I'm not emotionally-stable and still I have feelings to handle. Ugh. But yeah, I'm sane. I wish I was crazy but i'm not. Thankfully. =)

Harry Potter was joy. It was a disappointment in certain aspects I guess. There was no cameo of Bill and Charlie Weasley, no slight visual of the other champions during their tasks and I thought Dobby was supposed to be the one who helped Harry gain the gillyweed? Haha. But of course, this movie is probably the most slash-potential movie series yet. Seriously, there were lots! Let's see.. Cedric helping Harry up after he fell from the Portkey, Cedric volunteering to make others stop disturbing Harry, Ron trying to make Cedric notice him by waving at him after he placed his name on the Goblet of Fire, Fred and George (they are just made for slash), Cedric having 'kinky' thoughts by telling Harry to go to the prefect's bathroom for a bath and more. =) The best part was when Harry and Cedric were practically trying to tear each other's shirts off! I actually thought they were gonna get down and dirty with it. I mean, they should! Well, Cedric did get down and dirty when he fell and got tangled up with the roots.

Voldemort should have just rot in hell. Although I must say that this has got to be the sexiest Voldemort yet. Obviously, having Ralph Fiennes play the part was a great choice. His actions just exude evilness. Hot. Haha. Although, having to slits as nostrils is just disgusting. But still, hot. =)

Oh and I bet the slash community is buzzing with excitement over Harry's naked torso and a lil hint of abdomen. Haha. He's actually quite bulked up from the last time I've seen a picture of him shirtless. Which is of course a great thing. I reckon Ron is bulking up too. And Fred and George! Haha! I love the hair. You could never go wrong with the hair. A huge huge improvement from the short disgusting hair they had. I hope they keep it. I love it!

exams.. ugh.. O's!!

2005-10-22T16:00:00.000+08:00

Hmm.. The government should really consider pushing back the O's to maybe like after a month of Hari Raya? Ugh. I hate this. I hate this sooo much. Studying while fasting is so not my idea of spending Ramadhan. But still, I know I'll pull through with God's grace. =)

Haha. So anyway, since it is Ramadhan, I have been trying very hard to filter my musical tastes just for this special month. Therefore, I have resorted to listening to Waheeda everywhere I go. Ok. Maybe it's not a change of musical taste. I've always like Waheeda but I just realised that she has a new album with new songs! Haha. I have no idea whatsoever on what the songs mean, but my guess is its mostly Islamic. Haha. But still, I love arabic groove music. Very erm.. arabic. =)

This is most probably gonna be my last post before the O's. It's not as if I have the will to blog anyway. So, I shall devote my entire time to cramming chunk-loads of Social Studies and History facts, titrating Chemistry concepts, radiating Physics, solving A Maths and E Maths, engraving language capabilities for HML and English and of course diffusing Bio facts. =) I promise I'll blog more often after the O's. I know I'll have loads to rant about.

Happy 16th Birthday Shikz!! =) I'm gonna miss ya to pieces.

TaKen!

2005-09-30T01:54:00.000+08:00

Omg! I'm so in love with Steven Spielberg's Taken and it was so not a waste staying up to watch that mini-series. =) Love it soo much. And Eric Close and Steve Burton made watching a pleasure. Haha. It's kinda more of a soap than a sci-fi series actually. I mean, a story focusing more on the 3 families is more soap-ish than alien-ish. But the effects were real cool for just a tv series. You've got to hand it to Steven Spielberg. He's the alien genius. The other thing I like about his productions are that you need to process what you have seen and think about it rather than a right-smack-in-the-face kinda shows. That's something that is lacking is most movies nowadays.

Khairul Anuar won Anugerah! I'm so freaking happy. That boy's got loads of talent and he never fails to amaze me. =) And not to mention I got my $3 worth of votes. People should really stop seeing him as a butch or a girly cause it doesn't even matter. It's a singing competition for God's sake. Should I reiterate that it is a SINGING competition? People should start focusing more on talent than image. That's how the entertainent industry should be about. Haha. But of course, having great-looking people is a definite bonus along with their talent.

Oh and I found out that parents do the strangest things ever since I started sending my brother to school and picking him up 4 hours later. Parents often rush their children to school, tell them that school is so important and they have to study hard. In other words kids, school is your second home, no doubt bout it. But again, parents that I have seen so far are so anxious to get their children back from school. They turn up at least 15 minutes early in front of the doors and then start peeking in through the windows and pace up and down. Gosh! Besides disturbing the attention of the children, they're just contradicting themselves. Yet again, they ask the siliest question every single day without fail; how was school? Haha. I give up.

It's just wierd how after 2 or more weeks of sleeping in late trying to cram stuff in, only after the exams the exhaustion sets in. Haha. Probably because I never have studied as hard as I did in my entire life but it's just wierd. It's as if my mind just totally switched off and all I want to do is nothing to do with school. Haha. I love me. =)

amazing race

2005-09-28T23:43:00.000+08:00

*sighs* What perfect views. Haha. Teams I'll be rooting for; Rogers family(top) and the Linz family. I almost wanted to scream and shout when the Linz family was neck and neck with the Black family (There is no racist comment here. That's their real family name). Hopefully, they'll pull through and be among the top few. Brock Rogers!! Haha. Reza, you have you tannedchi and I have my tannedamerican. =) Although, he's not that tanned, but yeah. Yummy! =) I'm rooting for the Weaver family too cause of the emotional trauma that they had to go through. And the fact that I want kids like that contributed to me liking them. Haha. Oh by the way, Brock looks a lil like Jared Padalecki. Haha. Uncanny resemblance. I hope Singapore gets to get hold of WB's Supernatural starring Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles. Looks real cool.

To celebrate the crowning of Brock Rogers as tannedamerican, I give you photos of his escapades on the race to find me here in Singapore. *blush* =)

Hey you! Stop checking out his pecs. Perv!

Hmm.. Someone's good with his hands....

...and not to mention those legs. To die for!

Haha. Wonderful, just wonderful. =) So anyway, new layout for Charmed in conjunction with the new season! Yay! I can't wait! Kaley Cuoco is just gorgeous and I know she'll do great on the series. There's rumours that season 8 will not be the end for Charmed! Yay! Haha. Hopefully those rumours come true. I'd just hate to not watch Charmed everyday. Unless of course the DVDs get sold here in Singaproe. Then I'll be able to watch Charmed every single day of my life until the DVDs get worn out and melt. =)

***pictures posted belongs to The Amazing Race Season 8 site.

iDoL

2005-09-24T01:03:00.000+08:00

Guessed what? Haha. I watched Malaysian Idol like 5 hours ago. Haha. So anyway, I hope Nita wins. She deserves it. Her vocal range is just so impressive cause she looks as though she can't sing but once she opens her mouth, I was blown away. And she's way better than Daniel. No offence to Daniel fans but he just lacks that extra spark that makes an idol. Furthermore, he's English diction is just terrible. But I really have to respect his falsetto capabilities. He can just switch from falsetto to normal in just mere milliseconds. Haha. But still, Nita is the better one. I just love her rendition of Berhenti Berharap. Speaking of which, Siti Nurhaliza did a wonderful rendition of it too. It's constantly been playing on my com ever since I downloaded it. All the best to Nita.

I got a real nice poster of Kelly Clarkson! Yay! Haha. All thanx to LiME. It's the exact same picture that's on kellyclarkson.ca. I hope that website returns soon. It's been my favourite Kelly site ever since it started. Guess ultimatekc has to do for now. Speaking of Kelly, I just can't wait for her new album! Come Here sounds so soulful that it's equivalent to the likes of Janis Joplin. Oh, I watched her Hazel Eyes Tour and just love her renditions of both I'm Movin' On and Why. I so wanna be like her. Talent-wise that is. But I know I'm just not there yet. Her voice is just God-given, no doubt about it. Her 4-octave range is even comparable to Mariah Carey. I miss that treble when she sang Natural Woman during Idol.

Do you know that castratos were men who were castrated so that their alto and soprano range could be preserved? That's gotta be a pain. Imagine trying to sing and your groin hurts and you can feel the pain just throbbing. Ouch. Thanx god for my voice. =) One thing to be thankful of.

I love gospel. I always have. It's the epitome of soul. You listen to it and it just soothes your soul and gives you peace of mind. And the best part of it is, gospel music is not all about Christianity, Jesus and stuff like that. Gospel is more about motivation. Believe it or not, gospel music does not praise God for the whole 4 mins plus of the song. It's more of how you take values loved by God and put it in your life everyday. But sadly, I'm not really allowed to listen to such songs, I think. And I hate Islamic relgious songs. They just try too hard. It's almost too propaganda-esque. It's as if we're trying to convert every single one on Earth to be Muslims. It shouldn't be the way. People should convert on their own free will like how it's meant to be.

I've never realised that music has been the greatest part of my life. I was sitting down today with nothing to do, stuck at home and just thinking about all the days gone by. And every single memory comes equipped with a song. For example, National Day practices wa S Club 7 and train journeys to French Class was Blue. Haha. I love it; being able to relate music with eveyrday stuff. It's been such a wonderful therapy. Sort of like an outlet for pent-up emotions and all. Yup. It's routine for me. The moment I step into my house after school, I head straight for my room and shut all the windows and door and just sing. If I don't do that I end up cranky. Haha. Sad rite?

Remeniscing

2005-09-07T01:16:00.000+08:00

Holidays and I haven't been really studying. I have no idea why but I find myself remeniscing all those sweet sweet memories of childhood. Gosh. I'd do anything to be a primary school kid again. I was browsing through the website of my primary school and it just felt so good looking at those photos and just imagining and remembering what it was like to be there. Oh and I was looking up for this old favourite cartoon of mine, Princess Starla and the Jewel Riders. Gosh! I miss that cartoon. Yes. It might be all girlish and all but it was fun. I remember drawing them for an artwork of mine. I wish they'd telecast it again.

So anyway, new layout. Inspired by events that have happened over the last week or so. It's just been a memorable period of time. What with class-bonding, meetings and rehearsals. Haha. I'm gonna miss everything that I've poured my heart and soul into. It turned out great after all even though to me it was kinda disappointing, my part that is. But it doesn't matter anyway. What matters is that I made my debut. =) Haha.

On a serious note, I hope all those affected by Hurrican Katrina take this as a test from God to test your faith. I pray for all the victims that could not have been saved by the hurricane and my heart goes out to families who have lost their loved ones, homes and other precious items and may they find the strength to move on with their lives and that they will be blessed with goodness. =)

nOtHiNg eLsE mAtTerS

2005-08-24T19:25:00.000+08:00

Since life is getting more and more pressurized and hectic and irritatingly busy, blogging will be a rarity for me during this phase that I'm going through. Yup. Unfortunately, you'll see less of my rants and raves and more of my erm.. past rants and raves. (everybody say "aww") But nonetheless, I will strive to blog as often as my will permits. =) Gosh I sound so popular. Haha.

I hate last minute news/events/notices and etc. Yes. If there's one thing that I have to hate, it's last minute-ness. It just spoils everything; plans,plans and plans! Ok. Maybe not all last minute events are bad. I mean, just look at the Teachers' Day concert item. People can say that it's lame and stupid but to me it's everything right now. Ok. I may not show it but it is. Seriously, that's one of the few things that I'm proud of during my whole 3+ years in Temasek. Even though, it was last minute, I love it soooo much. Hell. I love my class. =) I love me more but I love my class too. Haha.

Oh and Benny, if you're reading this, I just have to say that I want to kill you for having that really guy voice. Yes. You shall be hunted by the shadows of the night and your vocal chords will be placed right smack in front of me on a silver platter for me to enjoy torturing. I'm sorry but I just can't stand your voice. It irritates me to see you sing so guy-ly and it makes me wanna slap you. Haha. Psychotic nonsense. If you didn't notice, I was only joking. Ugh. Benny has the best male voice I've heard. Better than most guys. Irritating rite?

Oh by the way, some people should really listen to themselves. Oh no. It won't work on him. He did that and he still didn't get it. I wonder why? In a world of full of talented people, he's just not one of them. I mean, I'm not saying that i'm perfect or anything, at least my pitching is not awful. Ok. I shall stop. I'll be ranting on and if I don't. Haha.

tEaCher'S dAy

2005-08-05T21:41:00.000+08:00

I've got so much to drabble and rant away but I neither have the time nor the will too. Haha. Motivatiobal soo helped. Ok. It did. Just not the whole blogging-every-single-day part. I kinda miss this thing. And contrary to popular belief (rite), I haven't been studying for my prelims yet but I'm doing some revision stuff. Gosh prelims suck. I feel so lost with prelims coming up. I'm afraid that i won't make the cut for VJC. Ugh. Don't even think bout it, As.

So many things have happened during those days I didn't blog. Mostly I had great times. Thanx Ramesh and Cherie. Cherie, you are an inspiration to me. =) And why does all cute guys nowadays resemble Keemi? Syidah, your fault. I've been kinda lost and empty after the camp. I had this indescribable feeling that was just welling up and spreading. But I'm ok now. Haha. Thanx to Syidah and music. =)

I had no idea that I could write songs. I mean, I always make up any freaking lyrics and sing it when I'm alone. Haha. Wonders of your mind when you're stressed as hell. I wish we get in that Teachers' Day thing. I'm proud of myself and my class. We were great. Thanx to Steven for being Rajah and having to act like how he shouldn't. Haha. =) I'm gonna miss them. Gosh. I'm gonna cry...

Thanx soooooooo much...

2005-07-08T15:31:00.000+08:00

After four years of being friends, I would think that you'd at least mention to me bout something that big a deal. But no. You kept mum bout it and never ever did mention it to me. And the worst part of it all is the way that I found out bout it. Yes. Through your friend who happened to have a link to your blog, which once again you did not mention at all. I mean, I dun mind in helping you when you're not around but at least tell me what's up. Just in case if you're wondering that why I didn't ask in the first place is because I thought the reason for you to not come to school on the 1st day might be due to you not feeling well. I'm not frustrated and angry, just disappointed. I mean, we've been friends for like 4 years and there's still things that we don't say. Ok. That might have sound extremely psychotic and desperate but what the hell.

Oh and I get all worked up and irritated when ppl ask me what I want for my bday. And the worst of all, it always comes from my family memebers. No sense of surprise and secrecy at all. I can always depend on my father's side of the family to always provide me with $50 each, never ever trying to make the effort to at least buy something. Oh and thanx to my uncle who extended his stay in Adelaide for 4 more days which is like after my bday. Thank you sooooo much!

I can't continue blogging right now. Not really in the right state of mind. Mixed up feelings and all that. Oh and congrats to you for getting that job you badly wanted. And this does not mean anything. I'm just congratulating you on your success.

BaLlOoN

2005-07-02T22:58:00.000+08:00

School starts yet again and I have no mood for it at all. And yes, thoughts of dropping school crossed my mind loads of times but still, I cannot do that because I won't get anywhere without education. Haha. Crap. Seriously, I'm beginning to feel the pressure of it all. I'm beginning to understand the fundamental values needed to succeed. And to succeed you have to make sacrifices no matter how small. Therefore, since last Wednesday, I made my sacrifice of not watching Charmed anymore. Yes. It's sad. But it has to be done. =) I am soo damn proud of myself for that. It might seem small but it's a step forward and more will follow.

Isn't July just such a wonderful month? I mean, with the whole International Olympic Conference happening in Singapore and my ahembirthdayahem. Yeah. July's a great month. Every month should be July. Every month should be for me. =) So anyway, Hillary Clinton's coming to Singapore! Omg! I so cannot believe it. I love her, man! She's one of the best First Ladies in the world. Yup. Really salute her.

My mum saw this ad for Anugerah and she was like, "Maybe you should take vocal lessons. I mean, not to have a career with it but who knows? Just for fun lah. You should go for lessons." Yes, mother. I actually do but not now. I'm finally setting my priorities lined up in front of me and I need to focus on that. I have to focus on that. Maybe if I dun get into the 1st admission for JC I'll work and go for lessons. But hopefully I get into JC. VJC's Arts is 6. Wonderful. Balloon Day's gonna be fun! =)

cArtOoN fEtIsH

2005-06-23T00:14:00.000+08:00

*sighs* I sooo love my new layout. If all of ya have no idea whatsoever, I'm having a cartoon fetish now. Yup. You heard it right the first time. I find cartoon chracters hot! =) Especially the X-men. Haha. Freaky, I know. But I just can't help it; cartoons just drive me up the wall and make me wanna cartwheel all day long. Berzerker (the one with orange hair) is sooooo hott! Muahaha! There I go again.

I really cannot understand why music stores would hire ppl who have no idea about the global music scene. Seriously, I went into the store and asked whether Carrie's single is out yet. And the short, plump woman stared at me with those irritatingly puffy eyes and asked, "Carrie Unggut?" Right. I felt like slapping her there and then. Even after reapeating it several times made no difference. Disgusting really;hiring music virgins as sales-personnel in a cd store.

Just started on homework today and was I ever surprised to find out that I had tons of work to do. Muahaha. But I'm still online and blogging. Yeap. I love my strong will to just not care bout work and just slug it out doing practically useless things with no objective. Wait. This is not useless crap! This is my life I'm blogging bout. *smacks head*

wOw

2005-06-20T15:48:00.000+08:00

Ok. Maybe I was exaggerating a tad too much about my father's side of the family. I mean, they're not all bad; only my grandmother's the worst. =) Yes. Spend a day with her and you'll be begging to get as far away from her as possible. She just keeps on opening her mouth without ever knowing when to close it. I dunno why but it has to come from the Chinese side of the family. All of them can't shut up. Yup. I was almost groaning when she sat next to me during dinner. Oh and my mother doesn't like her that much. I can sense and see it. Everytime my grandmother talks to her, she'll have this face on her and just gives her one-word answers. Yup. I love my mother. =)

Although during the whole trip I was enjoying myself and trying to soak up all of the fun and sun, I was silently cursing deep inside and had this urge to just shout to those irritants. But then again, I didn't wanna spoil it all. I know that silent torture was the best treatment for my father. Being all nice and practically waiting on him must have killed him so bad. Alas, I always lose it when I'm and the end of the cliff. It felt so good I tell you. But of course, it was subtle and clear.

Oh and they claimed that they saw Wardinah, or was it Waheeda. Haha. I had no idea where she was and I was in no mood at all to go searching for her amidst a crowd of hungry and Kenny Rogers-lovers. Ugh. I hate that place. The food and service was terrible. But still "McDonalds and KFC can be found in Singapore". Hah. We could have gone homeearlier if not for the bad service.

Father's Day. A day that I least look forward to. Mostly because I have never been nice and examplary to my father. Yup. I have no idea why. Must be this ego thing. I just can't say "I love you" in front of his face. But still, he's the one who pays for movies and alot of other things. Yup. That's our realtionship for you. It cannot be placed on a silver platter cause it's based on temper and not what is deep inside. Of course, the temper comes from me. If I feel like being nice, then I'm nice. But still, I love you and you'll always be the Man in my life. =) Happy Father's Day. *muackz*

wTf

2005-06-17T23:32:00.000+08:00

I so am in love with Lucie Silvas. If only she would appear sooner into the limelight than Christina Aguilera. Only then will ppl be comparing Christina to her and not vice versa. But still, Lucie is a songwriter and a exceptionally-talented vocalist in her own right. Her songs are just so full of passion and drive by itself and combined together with her vocals, it's a musical masterpiece that even Christina would never create. =)

So anyway, I hate last minute planning. Especially if it involves me. And even more so if I haven't finish my work. I mean, started my work. This totally sucks. Tomorrow I'll be leaving for Malacca of all places. It could have been like Australia or something but no, it had to be Malacca. So what if the family is going? It's as if our lives revolve around them. Seriously, I wouldn't care less if no one ever follow us whenever we go overseas. It would be such a relief to be away from them. Ugh. 2 days of utter chaos. Spend a day with them and you'll understand.

hAtE iT

2005-06-17T01:02:00.000+08:00

Ugh. One more week and so long days of endless monitor-staring. Oh yes, I should be burrying my nose in books and enjoying the enthralling digital sound of the calculator. And get this, these delicate fingers of mine have not been working the ole writing muscle. They're enjoying their time making music with my keyboard and not forgetting, turning the pages of Angels and Demons. Gosh that book is spell-binding! Da Vinci Code was superbly controversial but this is technologically exciting. Haha. Like I said, Dan Brown's hot and God's gift to literary addicts and thriller suckers. =)

How I love Nickleback. That vocal is so raspy yet soothing. And not to mention irresistably hot! And what a song for a Spiderman soundtrack. I guess I've always dreamed of either being a superhero one day or being liberated and emancipated by one. But heroes do exist in the most unexpected places. I admire heroes. They may do this small miniscule amount of deed, but it goes on a long way to brave through the storm and help.

Oh and by the way, Jessica Simpson is such a slut. Watch her video for These Boots Are Made For Walkin' stripped out of the Dukes of Hazard soundtrack. The song's great though. She made an old song very Britney-esque although her vocals were disgusting. =)

cArrIe!!

2005-06-12T01:06:00.000+08:00

I've just heard the new studio recording of Carrie Underwood's Inside Your Heaven and I so love it! I just totally can't wait for it to be released on Tuesday. And I definitely am anxious for the video to come out too. I just can't wait to see how it all turns out. Click here to listen to the songs from the single. After hearing that recording of Inside Your Heaven, I'm eagerly anticipating her album. But I hope she takes her time with it though; just to make sure that it's jam-packed with country and crossovers! =)

I'm torn between Neeon and iPod. Which one? Someone shed some light on my humble quest to find the best mp3 player. =(

=p

2005-06-06T23:30:00.000+08:00

I have a feeling that ppl think I'm decent, innocent and completely naive. Omg. You so do not know me. There's just so much that is burried deep beneath the surface of my skin. There's just so much that ppl don't understand bout me at all; how I feel, how I perceive things around me, how schizophrenic I really am, how neurotic I am and the list just goes on endlessly. Only few ppl have have come close to knowing the real me and for that I am grateful and definitely thankful for making life much easier to trudge on, even on hard soil filled with thorns. Life is just better and worth the time with you guys. =)

I feel that time is really of the essence. I'm trying as hard as I can to spend as much time with you guys cause of fear of regretting not doing so in the first place after graduating. The thought of getting separated by results and by institutions just scares me. Haha. Seriously, I feel the urge to just cut loose and ride the waves once more.

So anyway, enough drama talk. Yesterday was just crazy. Instead of browsing and buying, we were more of browsing and browsing and never buying. If only I had brought enough money, Shikz would be cure of fever now and would be at home enjoying her time learning to play the Indie Guitar. =) Oh and I met Nana and Syidah's sis for the first time. Haha. I think sweet-ness runs in the family (Syidah, dun bloat). 21 shots was a blast although if you guys noticed, I looked at the screen instead of where I was supposed to look at. Haha. Plain stupid.